IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

the bar char below shows the percentage of households with access to the internet in three European countrues between 2007 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #percentage #households #access #internet #three #european #countrues #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The Illustrated chart represents
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the amount of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
internet
access
 in 12 years period between 2007 & 2019.
Overall
, A steady rise in
Add an article
a household
the household
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
internet
access
 among all the 3 European countries, reaching all three countries to a
platueau
Correct your spelling
plateau
 level in 2019.
To begin
 with, Germany had the most
household
internet
access
 among all three
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
starting at 70% in 2007 and ending with over 95% in 2019.
Similarily
Correct your spelling
Similarly
show examples
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 started with over 60% of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
internet
access
 and ended with
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 steady rise at marginally over 90%.
However
,
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 growth was observed
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 started at just over 40%
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
rose
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 to 90% in 2019 reducing the gap
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 with
internet
access
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the other two countries. In summary, the graph represents the steady growth of houses with
internet
access
 where
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
 the top percentages.
However
, Spain showed exponential growth
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the other two and recovered the gap in 12
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 period.
Submitted by nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Punctuation
Ensure accurate punctuation, such as consistent use of commas and correct usage of periods. For instance, 'Illustrated chart represents,' should be 'The illustrated chart represents'.
Structure and Clarity
Consider restructuring some sentences to enhance clarity. For example, 'that rose to 90% in 2019 reducing the gap' could be rephrased to 'which rose to 90% in 2019, significantly narrowing the gap'.
Lexical Resource
Avoid repetition and strive for more varied vocabulary usage. For instance, instead of repeatedly using phrases like 'steady rise,' consider synonyms like 'gradual increase' or 'consistent growth'.
Task Achievement
The essay accurately describes the trend observed in the chart, noting the specific percentage increases for each country over the given period.
Coherence
The comparisons made between the three countries are appropriate and well-articulated, offering clear distinctions in the growth rates.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction that presents the topic, body paragraphs that discuss the data, and a summarizing conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: