Many elderly people no longer look after their families but are put in care homes and nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Currently, people have hectic
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
thus
they do not have time to
care
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
older family
members
. Younger population and middle-aged people put elderly
members
in old age
homes
. Both its pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs. When it comes to the advantages of the same, the first and foremost is that nursing
homes
often provide Professional
Care
that ensures proper medical attention and consistent
care
. When an older person reaches
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the end of their life and needs complete medical
Care
, which cannot be given at home,
as a result
, nursing
homes
are preferred by many individuals.
Secondly
,
care
homes
are full
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
grey-population
Correct your spelling
population
show examples
which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
loneliness and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
social interaction with peers because in nursing
homes
they can share their feelings and thoughts with friends
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
works as a stress Buster for them.
For example
, Canada and the United States of America financially support nursing
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
as they believe
this
may
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
for the well-being of old old generation. When it comes to the disadvantages of the same, the most prominent one is sending elderly
members
to nursing
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
break
Fix the infinitive
to break
show examples
families' Unity.
In other words
, elderly ones
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
an integral role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families since we can learn various life lessons and social norms from them as they have heaps of experience.
In addition
, old age
homes
can be quite expensive, imposing a financial burden on families.
For instance
,
according to
Harvard
Correct article usage
a Harvard
show examples
medical report, 50% of old
people's
Unnecessary verb
people
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
are caused by emotional breakdowns and stress
due to
lack of family interaction. In conclusion, I opine that nursing
homes
have both merits and demerits.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it can be easily observed that many individuals barely get time for their family
members
so
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
advantages outnumber
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
disadvantages.
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that every main point mentioned in the introduction is clearly elaborated upon in the body paragraphs. For instance, the part about elderly people providing life lessons is mentioned but not deeply explored with examples.
task achievement
Work on expanding the ideas in the body paragraphs to make them more comprehensive. This can be achieved by providing more specific examples, statistics, or anecdotal evidence where applicable.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking devices and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, phrases like 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'similarly' can make transitions smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, the second advantage discusses both professional care and social interaction. These could be separated into different paragraphs for better clarity and focus.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in making your essay organized and easy to follow.
complete response
The essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the subject. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional care
  • medical attention
  • consistent care
  • social interaction
  • prevent loneliness
  • emotionally difficult
  • away from their families
  • expensive
  • financial burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: