Many elderly people no longer look after their families but are put in care homes and nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Currently, people have hectic
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
thus
they do not have time to care
their
older family Change preposition
for their
members
. Younger population and middle-aged people put elderly members
in old age homes
. Both its pros and cons will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
When it comes to the advantages of the same, the first and foremost is that nursing homes
often provide Professional Care
that ensures proper medical attention and consistent care
. When an older person reaches at
the end of their life and needs complete medical Change preposition
apply
Care
, which cannot be given at home, as a result
, nursing homes
are preferred by many individuals. Secondly
, care
homes
are full with
Change preposition
of
grey-population
which Correct your spelling
population
prevent
loneliness and Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
give
social interaction with peers because in nursing Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
homes
they can share their feelings and thoughts with friends this
works as a stress Buster for them. Correct pronoun usage
which
For example
, Canada and the United States of America financially support nursing home
as they believe Fix the agreement mistake
homes
this
may helpful
for the well-being of old old generation.
When it comes to the disadvantages of the same, the most prominent one is sending elderly Add a missing verb
be helpful
members
to nursing home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
break
families' Unity. Fix the infinitive
to break
In other words
, elderly ones plays
an integral role in Change the verb form
play
the
families since we can learn various life lessons and social norms from them as they have heaps of experience. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, old age homes
can be quite expensive, imposing a financial burden on families. For instance
, according to
Harvard
medical report, 50% of old Correct article usage
a Harvard
people's
Unnecessary verb
people
that
are caused by emotional breakdowns and stress Correct determiner usage
apply
due to
lack of family interaction.
In conclusion, I opine that nursing homes
have both merits and demerits. However
it can be easily observed that many individuals barely get time for their family Add a comma
However,
members
so it's
advantages outnumber Replace the word
its
it's
disadvantages.Replace the word
its
Submitted by rajwants.1997 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that every main point mentioned in the introduction is clearly elaborated upon in the body paragraphs. For instance, the part about elderly people providing life lessons is mentioned but not deeply explored with examples.
task achievement
Work on expanding the ideas in the body paragraphs to make them more comprehensive. This can be achieved by providing more specific examples, statistics, or anecdotal evidence where applicable.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking devices and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, phrases like 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', and 'similarly' can make transitions smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, the second advantage discusses both professional care and social interaction. These could be separated into different paragraphs for better clarity and focus.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in making your essay organized and easy to follow.
complete response
The essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the subject. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!