The graph shows the proportion of population aged 65 and over in major developed countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#proportion #population #countries #information #features #comparisons

The line graph demonstrates the levels of senior citizens

with

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apply

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aged 65 and over in seven of the most developed countries

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between 1950 and 2050.

Overall

, the number of

the

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apply

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elderly people increased in all seven countries over

the

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that period of

times

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time

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. Despite that, Japan is predicted to have the most older citizens in 2050, compared to the rest of the six countries. Korea saw some fluctuation increase between 1950 and 1990, with nearly

around

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percent

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per cent

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before it showed

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a gradual

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gradual

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gradually

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increased

Wrong verb form

increase

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apply

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up to 15

percent

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per cent

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in 2020 and increased

increasing

Verb problem

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dramatically up to approximately 35

percent

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per cent

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in 2050. China did not show much

differences

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difference

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up to 2010 before it rose up to nearly 23

percent

in 2040 and relatively remained unchanged in 2050. Australia and France

illustrates

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illustrate

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some vary varied in the first two decades, but a steady upward

trends

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trend

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. Germany counted around 9

percent

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per cent

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the

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1950 and since

then

rose up to 2050 despite some

down ward

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downward

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downward trend in 1990. Japan stood out to be the only country that never saw has seen a downward trend since 1950 and it is predicted to have more than 35

percent

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per cent

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of senior citizens in 2050.

Submitted by asllchkied on Wed May 29 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

200 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that individuals should change jobs during their working life often while others believe that doing the same job has advantages to individuals, companies, and society.

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