IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the proportion of population aged 65 and over in major developed countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of population aged 65 and over in major developed countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph demonstrates the levels of senior citizens
with
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aged 65 and over in seven of the most developed countries
in
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between 1950 and 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
the
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elderly people increased in all seven countries over
the
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that period of
times
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time
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. Despite that, Japan is predicted to have the most older citizens in 2050, compared to the rest of the six countries. Korea saw some fluctuation increase between 1950 and 1990, with nearly
around
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5
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percent
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per cent
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 before it showed
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a gradual
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gradual
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gradually
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increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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a
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up to 15
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2020 and increased
increasing
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dramatically up to approximately 35
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percent
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per cent
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 in 2050. China did not show much
differences
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difference
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 up to 2010 before it rose up to nearly 23
percent
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 in 2040 and relatively remained unchanged in 2050. Australia and France
illustrates
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illustrate
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 some vary varied in the first two decades, but a steady upward
trends
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trend
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. Germany counted around 9
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percent
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per cent
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 in
the
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apply
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1950 and since
then
Linking Words
 rose up to 2050 despite some
down ward
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downward
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 downward trend in 1990. Japan stood out to be the only country that never saw has seen a downward trend since 1950 and it is predicted to have more than 35
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percent
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per cent
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 of senior citizens in 2050.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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