IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in 2017

#amount #tea #coffee #four #countries
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The bar chart shows information about the comparison number of
tea
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 and
coffee
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 (
tonnes
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 scales) in 2017 which were imported from several nations. There were
Germany
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, the
USA
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, Britain Raya, and
Canada
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Tea
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 commodities were larger than
coffee
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 in the UK and
USA
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, meanwhile in
Canada
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 and
Germany
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, imported
tea
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 commodities were smaller than
coffee
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.
To begin
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, the
tea
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 commodities with the highest weight imported were the UK, at 160000
tonnes
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then
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 followed by the
USA
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 in the second rank at around 110000
tonnes
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.
Germany
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 was in third place with 40000
tonnes
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. The country that conducted the lowest imported
tea
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 was
Canada
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 at 20000
tonnes
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.
Moreover
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, The highest number of
coffee
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 imports were in
Germany
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 at around 40000
tonnes
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. It continued with
Canada
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 and the
USA
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 was equally at the same level of import
coffee
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 at 40000
tonnes
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.
Finally
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 the lowest amount of entrance the
coffee
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 seeds in UK fK at around 20000
tonnes
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction conclusion
The introduction mentions 'Britain Raya,' which should be corrected to 'the UK' to ensure accuracy. Additionally, provide a clearer summary statement at the end to conclude your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that comparisons are consistently clear and accurate. For instance, clarify the comparison for coffee imports in your paragraph to avoid any ambiguity.
supported main points
Further elaborate by providing more specific data and trends. For example, discuss the proportion of tea vs coffee imports in each country.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains relevant specific examples and data points, which are crucial for illustrating your points.
logical structure
There is a logical structure in presenting the data and the essay flows in a coherent manner overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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