IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These two charts illustrate the amount of
water
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in three sectors around the whole world, and the situation for
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
Brazil
Use synonyms
 and
Congo
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in agriculture is the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 one among all sectors. Meanwhile, the
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 each person in
Brazil
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much higher than
Use synonyms
Congo
Change preposition
in Congo
show examples
. It is clear from the line chart that 600 km3
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 was consumed in agriculture in 1900, which was the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 one. After
expercienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 an upward trend, that figure went up to 2900 km3 in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 demands in industrial was the second one over the 100 years, from almost 0 km3 to 1100 km3.
However
Linking Words
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 used
in domestic
Rephrase
domestically
show examples
, compared to the others, with 0 km3 in 1900 and less than 400 km3 in 2000.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a different
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 pattern between
Brazil
Use synonyms
 and
Congo
Use synonyms
. In
Brazil
Use synonyms
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 176 million people in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 that figure for
Congo
Use synonyms
 was only 5.2 million.
Apat
Correct your spelling
Apart
 from that, the total space of irrigated land in
Brazil
Use synonyms
 was still much higher than
Congo
Use synonyms
, with 26500 km2 and 100 km2 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, each individual in
Brazil
Use synonyms
costed
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
 359 m3
Use synonyms
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
Change preposition
on averagely
show examples
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 that figure for
Congo
Use synonyms
 was only 8 m3.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, brazil, congo, km with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: