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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries #summarise #features #comparisions
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These two charts illustrate the amount of
water
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in three sectors around the whole world, and the situation for
water
consumption
 in
Brazil
 and
Congo
.
Overall
,
water
consumption
 in agriculture is the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 one among all sectors. Meanwhile, the
water
consumption
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 each person in
Brazil
are
Change the verb form
is
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 much higher than
Congo
Change preposition
in Congo
show examples
. It is clear from the line chart that 600 km3
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 was consumed in agriculture in 1900, which was the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 one. After
expercienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 an upward trend, that figure went up to 2900 km3 in 2000.
Moreover
,
water
 demands in industrial was the second one over the 100 years, from almost 0 km3 to 1100 km3.
However
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
water
 used
in domestic
Rephrase
domestically
show examples
, compared to the others, with 0 km3 in 1900 and less than 400 km3 in 2000.
Additionally
, there was a different
water
consumption
 pattern between
Brazil
 and
Congo
. In
Brazil
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 176 million people in 2000,
while
 that figure for
Congo
 was only 5.2 million.
Apat
Correct your spelling
Apart
 from that, the total space of irrigated land in
Brazil
 was still much higher than
Congo
, with 26500 km2 and 100 km2 respectively.
Furthermore
, each individual in
Brazil
costed
Correct your spelling
cost
show examples
 359 m3
water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
Change preposition
on averagely
show examples
averagely
Change the word
average
show examples
 in 2000,
while
 that figure for
Congo
 was only 8 m3.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, brazil, congo, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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