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Band 5

Some believe that the development of technology and improved software allow us to translate between langauges automatically . Therefore , it is not necessary to learn foreign languages any more . Do you agree or disagree

#believe #development #technology #software #langauges #languages
The importance of learning new
languages
 is said to be no longer valid in the recent worldwide
due to
 the advanced technology which can help
people
 translate alien
languages
 automatically . The writer of
this
 essay totally disagrees with that notion because
through
Add the comma(s)
, through
show examples
 the process of gaining a new language, it is important for learners to understand
culture
Add an article
the culture
show examples
 and the way of communicating . When it comes to studying a strange language , there is no denying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its role in helping
people
 understand the
culture
 of that civilization as well . To explain
further
 , when
people
 come and live in
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
environemnt
Correct your spelling
environment
, they will find it necessary to not only be able to have conversations with locals but
also
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 an adequate understanding
about
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of
show examples
 their
culture
 .
Therefore
 , despite the translating function of modern devices , it is still imperative for
people
 to learn foreign
langauges
Correct your spelling
languages
 since
this
 will make them able to adjust their way of living so as to catch up with
people
 in that area. Another obvious benefit is that learning alien
languages
 independently will remove the communication boundaries in an effective way .
That is
 to say ,
people
 can not fully depend on the use of technology in order to
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
 conversations with
people
 in other parts of the world , especially when it comes to daily talks in which they do not have to be formal with their friends .
That is
not to mention
 ,
learning
Correct word choice
that learning
show examples
 a new language can help
people
 express their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 and personal thoughts which will result in good relationships with others alongside promotions in their work .
As a result
 , it is undeniable that the demands of being able to speak
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different
languages
 are
sill
Correct your spelling
still
show examples
intergral
Correct your spelling
integral
 parts of personal
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
, even in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society . In conclusion ,
due to
 the advantages of
Correct your spelling
becoming
becomming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 aware of
culture
 alongside the importance of informal communications , it is more likely that
people
 living in the contemporary era will find it compulsory to gain new
languages
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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grammar
Work on reducing small grammatical errors. For example, 'alien languages' can be replaced with 'foreign languages' for better clarity.
development
Try to incorporate more diverse and specific examples that directly support your main points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
variety
Improve sentence variety. Repetition of sentence structures can make the essay less engaging. Try to use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, maintaining relevance throughout. Each paragraph aligns well with the main points you wish to discuss.
insight
The essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the intricacies involved in learning a new language and how it goes beyond mere translation of words. This effectively addresses the core of the prompt.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Transitions between arguments are mostly smooth, aiding readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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