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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the life circle of a species of large fish called the salmon Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life circle of a species of large fish called the salmon Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pictures
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
llife
Correct your spelling
life
 circulation of a species of fish, namely salmon.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 it goes to the open sea after being matured halfway in the
river
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 returns back to the
river
Use synonyms
 for reproduction.
Initially
Linking Words
, The process starts in the upper
river
Use synonyms
 where adult salmons lay their eggs under some small stones located between the reeds for nearly 5 to 6 months. After the eggs turned into fries, they would swim to the lower
river
Use synonyms
 and stay them for
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 4 years. Growing
further
Linking Words
 about 7-9 cm, they turn into smolts and migrate to the open sea. As the third step, they stay in the sea for 5 years before becoming adult salmons and
then
Linking Words
,
swims
Correct subject-verb agreement
swim
show examples
 back to the lower
river
Use synonyms
. Importantly, the adult salmon is more than 5 times bigger than fries. For the
last
Linking Words
 stage of their lives, they would have their eggs between the reeds.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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