The chart shows the percentage of workers who migrated in different jobs between 2009 and 2012 in Australia.

The given chart illustrates the amount of workers in different jobs who migrated from 2009 to 2012 in Australia.

Overall

Linking Words

,it can be seen that accountant was the job had a big amount

while

Linking Words

computer programme was the lowest in different occupations.

Additionally

Linking Words

,all the units were measured in thousands. Looking at the figure in

further

Linking Words

detail,it can be seen that in accountants,2010 was the highest with 28

thousand

Use synonyms

migrants to Australia.

Additionally

Linking Words

, accountants

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the highest with 20

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2009,22

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2011 and 21

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2012.It all highest with each other.Moving to computer programmer,it was the lowest in 4 different jobs.

Moreover

Linking Words

,2009 and 2011 had the same amount with 2

thousand

Use synonyms

. Turning to the remaining statistics,the cook fluctuation from 17

thousand

Use synonyms

to 15

thousand

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

thousand

Use synonyms

to 16

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2009,2010,2011 and 2012.Speaking of software

engineer

Fix the agreement mistake

engineers

show examples

,it increased in 3 years from 2009 to 2011 with 19 to 21,before dropping down to 17

thousand

Use synonyms

in 2012.

May 30, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

migration rate
job sector
economic conditions
workforce
employment trends
occupational mobility
labour market
high/low turnover
sector-specific factors
trend analysis
upward/downward trend
percentage
time period

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The chart shows the percentage of workers who migrated in different jobs between 2009 and 2012 in Australia.

Increasing the price is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to businessman who own a chain of restaurants, and he suggested that you should contact him about possible job in one of his stores. write a letter to this businessman

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other useful activities. To what extent do you agree?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?