The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Presented for consideration is a bar chart
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
the fraction of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
aged 60-64 who were engaged in
four
countries
from 1970 to 2000. Units are measured in percentage.
Overall
, it can be seen that the percentage of women aged 60-64 had an upward trend through the following age in
four
countries
. Looking at the figures in
further
detail, it is evident that the ratio of men and women in Japan was the highest about 70%
while
in Belgium was the lowest in
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
countries
approximately 7%. Following the next age, all of the
four
countries
increased by double the previous age. The rate of Japan and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
accounting
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
for 74% and 55% respectively. Turning to the remaining data, during the period of 2000, the proportion of the aged 60-64 in Belgium was the lowest
account
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
for 8%
while
the lowest was ranked as Australia at about 16%.
Next,
the rate of the
four
countries
all increased significantly.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words four, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rate
  • percentage
  • aged 60-64
  • employed
  • country
  • comparison
  • trends
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant changes
  • socio-economic factors
  • gender disparity
  • highest
  • lowest
  • dataset
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