IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

The table below shows water use for different purposes in four countries. The use of water by four different countries (%).

The table below shows water use for different purposes in four countries. The use of water by four different countries (%).
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The table illustrates how four distinct countries consumed
water
Use synonyms
 for three purposes.
Overall
Linking Words
, Egypt and Saudi Arabia allocated the majority of
water
Use synonyms
 resources to agriculture
while
Linking Words
 New Zealand and Canada did so for industrial purposes. It was
also
Linking Words
 evident that domestic
water
Use synonyms
 consumption remained relatively low among all countries. Regarding Egypt, just over four-fifths of
water
Use synonyms
 was utilized agriculturally,
while
Linking Words
 industrial and domestic consumption both stood at below 10%. A relatively similar pattern could be observed in Saudi Arabia, as agricultural usage constituted 64%, double the figure for industry, leaving domestic use with a mere 6%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Canada distributed most of its
water
Use synonyms
 consumption, 70%, to industrial activities, which was more than triple the percentage for residential usage and seven times as high as that for agricultural purposes. Concerning New Zealand, industry and agriculture had relatively similar shares, at around 45% each, compared to 10% allotted to the domestic sector.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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