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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment
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Two graphs illustrate the present state of
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
 center and the future changes it
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
show examples
 to take.
Overall
Linking Words
, the future centre is expected to have more innovations
such
Linking Words
 as
sports
Use synonyms
 areas that include
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 leisure
pool
Use synonyms
, several dance studios,
Use synonyms
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 hall and other entertainment additions to accommodate people’s requests. First of all, starting from the entrance, the reception area and
pool
Use synonyms
 behind it, surrounded by seating and changing
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 on both sides, remained the same. Meanwhile, the gym, on the north
side
Use synonyms
, above the
pool
Use synonyms
 has been extended.
Instead
Linking Words
 of outdoor courts, on the northern-east
side
Use synonyms
 of the entrance, two dance studios are supposed to be put
along
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 each other. Following them, closer to the reception another changing room and cafe are expected to be inserted.
Then
Linking Words
 adjoined to a seating area of the
pool
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
sports
Add an article
the sports
show examples
 hall is going to take the rest of the territory. On the west
side
Use synonyms
 of the university
sports
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, the leisure
pool
Use synonyms
 is planned to be built in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place that previously was occupied by
another outdoor courts
Replace the adjective
another outdoor court
other outdoor courts
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the plan, the changing room and
sports
Use synonyms
 shop beside it are supposed to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
place by the left
side
Use synonyms
 of the reception.
Submitted by katenok200312 on

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coherence cohesion
Structure the essay more clearly by adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the redevelopment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Clarify certain descriptions, particularly the placements of new facilities, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Provide more specific details about how these changes will benefit the users of the sports centre to improve task achievement.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough comparison of the current and future designs of the sports centre.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical division of the information into paragraphs, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • redevelopment
  • expansion
  • modern amenities
  • recreational activities
  • cater
  • enhancement
  • aesthetics
  • accommodate
  • upgraded
  • welcoming
  • significantly expanded
  • current layout
  • future layout
  • gym enthusiasts
  • modernized
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