The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

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Two graphs illustrate the present state of

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

center and the future changes it

supposed

Add a missing verb

is supposed

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to take.

Overall

Linking Words

, the future centre is expected to have more innovations

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

areas that include

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

leisure

pool

Use synonyms

, several dance studios,

Use synonyms

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

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hall and other entertainment additions to accommodate people’s requests. First of all, starting from the entrance, the reception area and

pool

Use synonyms

behind it, surrounded by seating and changing

room

Fix the agreement mistake

rooms

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on both sides, remained the same. Meanwhile, the gym, on the north

side

Use synonyms

, above the

pool

Use synonyms

has been extended.

Instead

Linking Words

of outdoor courts, on the northern-east

side

Use synonyms

of the entrance, two dance studios are supposed to be put

along

Correct your spelling

alongside

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side

Use synonyms

each other. Following them, closer to the reception another changing room and cafe are expected to be inserted.

Then

Linking Words

adjoined to a seating area of the

pool

Use synonyms

sports

Add an article

the sports

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hall is going to take the rest of the territory. On the west

side

Use synonyms

of the university

sports

Use synonyms

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, the leisure

pool

Use synonyms

is planned to be built in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place that previously was occupied by

another outdoor courts

Replace the adjective

another outdoor court

other outdoor courts

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In addition

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the plan, the changing room and

sports

Use synonyms

shop beside it are supposed to take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

place by the left

side

Use synonyms

of the reception.

katenok200312Thu May 30 2024

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What works well

task achievement

The essay provides a thorough comparison of the current and future designs of the sports centre.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical division of the information into paragraphs, making it easier to follow.

Improvement Suggestions

coherence cohesion

Structure the essay more clearly by adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the redevelopment.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the logical flow of your ideas.

task achievement

Clarify certain descriptions, particularly the placements of new facilities, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.

task achievement

Provide more specific details about how these changes will benefit the users of the sports centre to improve task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

redevelopment
expansion
modern amenities
recreational activities
cater
enhancement
aesthetics
accommodate
upgraded
welcoming
significantly expanded
current layout
future layout
gym enthusiasts
modernized

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The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that the inteernet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.