The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment

Two graphs illustrate the present state of

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

sports

center and the future changes it

supposed

Add a missing verb

is supposed

show examples

to take.

Overall

, the future centre is expected to have more innovations

such

sports

areas that include

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

leisure

pool

, several dance studios,

sports

Correct article usage

a sports

show examples

hall and other entertainment additions to accommodate people’s requests. First of all, starting from the entrance, the reception area and

pool

behind it, surrounded by seating and changing

room

Fix the agreement mistake

rooms

show examples

on both sides, remained the same. Meanwhile, the gym, on the north

side

, above the

pool

has been extended.

Instead

of outdoor courts, on the northern-east

side

of the entrance, two dance studios are supposed to be put

along

Correct your spelling

alongside

show examples

side

each other. Following them, closer to the reception another changing room and cafe are expected to be inserted.

Then

adjoined to a seating area of the

pool

sports

Add an article

the sports

show examples

hall is going to take the rest of the territory. On the west

side

of the university

sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, the leisure

pool

is planned to be built in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

place that previously was occupied by

another outdoor courts

Replace the adjective

another outdoor court

other outdoor courts

show examples

In addition

according to

the plan, the changing room and

sports

shop beside it are supposed to take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

place by the left

side

of the reception.

Submitted by katenok200312 on Thu May 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Structure the essay more clearly by adding a conclusion that summarizes the main points of the redevelopment.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the logical flow of your ideas.

task achievement

Clarify certain descriptions, particularly the placements of new facilities, to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.

task achievement

Provide more specific details about how these changes will benefit the users of the sports centre to improve task achievement.

task achievement

The essay provides a thorough comparison of the current and future designs of the sports centre.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical division of the information into paragraphs, making it easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

203 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

redevelopment
expansion
modern amenities
recreational activities
cater
enhancement
aesthetics
accommodate
upgraded
welcoming
significantly expanded
current layout
future layout
gym enthusiasts
modernized

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Cultures around the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?
As humanity continues to progress in terms of technology, ideas, travel, and communication, it is observed that cultures in different places are gradually becoming similar. This is attributed to the influence of social media, from highly developed countries to underdeveloped ones. The merging of cultures is a negative trend because it takes away cultural diversity.
<4
band
some people said that the best way to teach a child about co-operate is team sport? agree or disagree?
I disagree to the opinion. For me, the most basic education for children comes from their homes with day-to-day tasks. Their mom and dad should be the childrens' role model and taught them about co-operating in the house. Some easy problems would arise and the parents could show their children how to solve problem in team work. For example, the mother is busy cooking for dinner and has another task list which is cleaning the house. The father can communicate with the children to help their mother to clean the house, at the very least, tidy up their own toys. Therefore, children could learn not only how to co-operate, but also how to problem solve and help others.
6.5
band
It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, several remote areas on the earth, like the South Pole, are more accessible for visitors and researchers on account of many technological advancements. While some people might argue that this development is disadvantageous in a few aspects, I still hold the view that this can bring about diverse advantages which far outweigh the shortcomings.
7.5
band
The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree
One school of thought holds that persuading citizens to stay in city areas instead of the countryside is the most sufficient method to eliminate traffic and transportation issues. While I accept that the perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are other factors that authorities should consider.
5
band
Some people say that the main environmental proble of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental probles
Environmental problems have been growing rapidly since the beginning of the era, one of the controversial issue debating on the topic of whether the extinction of the living creatures is considered as a main problems of the environmental concerns or not. Some may agree in some extent whilst some opponents may disagree, however after thorough consideration, though there are several crucial problems on the environment, it is strongly believed that the problem on the loss of some species of plants and animals should be taken into account.

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Fully explain your ideas

Cultures around the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

some people said that the best way to teach a child about co-operate is team sport? agree or disagree?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs and countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people say that the main environmental proble of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental probles