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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

ou should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

ou should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#ou #minutes #student #expenditure #uk #bar #sources #income #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
A glance at the pie chart provided reveals how much
money
 British students spent per month
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different categories of items,
along with
 their income sources in 2016.
Overall
, it is evident that student
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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, family and part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 were the major sources of student income,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the majority part of
those
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 rent.
While
 most students decided to
moved
Change the verb
move
show examples
 out from home when they
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
 college, not surprisingly, half of their expenditure was used to pay for their rent. Second in terms of expenditure was food, the amount spent was only one-third of rental expense, at 124
Euro dollars
Correct your spelling
Eurodollars
show examples
.
Money
 spent on socialising, travelling and bills had
a moderate levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
a moderate level
moderate levels
show examples
 between 52 Euro to 69 Euro. With regard to the sources of
money
,
although
 80% of undergraduates had student loans, the
money
 couldn't cover all of their expenses.
As a result
, one in seven students needed to either get financial support from their family or find a part-time job.
On the other hand
, the data provided reflected that less than half of undergraduates had previously had a saving habit. During the year in
question
Add a comma
question,
show examples
 approximately 40% of pupils were qualified to get financial
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
.
Submitted by puimei822 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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