IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk
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The given bar chart depicts the data pertaining to how
Correct article usage
the Britishs
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Britishs
Correct your spelling
British
 spent their money during 2004. Generally speaking, it can be observed that the demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 food and drink and
entertainment
Use synonyms
 saw an increase
as well as
Linking Words
 the rise of ages with the exception
for
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of
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 the latter in
over
Correct article usage
the over
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 76 age group.
In addition
Linking Words
, the proportion of spending from the people who were under 46 witnessed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 much lower
in
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apply
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its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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rate compared to the mentioned categories. In
further
Linking Words
 detail,the amount of expenditure saw a growth in food and drink and
entertainment
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ranging from 3% to just below 23% in the age group from 61 to over 76.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
restaurant
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restaurants
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 and
hotel
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hotels
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 which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in the same ages spent varied from below 4% to over 6%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the people who
was
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were
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 over 76 were likely to
spent
Change the verb
spend
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 less on
entertainment
Use synonyms
 which accounted for only 13%. Moving on to the
reamaining
Correct your spelling
remaining
 statistics,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the most of expenditure from the British was
expensed
Verb problem
spent
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in
Change preposition
on
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entertainment
Use synonyms
 and food and drink,
with
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apply
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ranging from over 5% to 16%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the average people below 30 and 60 spent less than 14% of their income on
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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 and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words entertainment with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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