The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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This

Linking Words

diagram shows that there are a number of processes involved in the commercial production of frozen

fish

Use synonyms

pies. The main ingredients consist of fresh salmon, peas and sauce, with sliced potatoes, and they are prepared separately. The potatoes, which may have been delivered up to a month in advance, are cleaned, peeled and cut into slices. The slices are boiled and

then

Linking Words

chilled before being stored until needed. The preparation of the

fish

Use synonyms

is more

labour intensive

Add a hyphen

labour-intensive

show examples

than the preparation of the potatoes. Within twelve hours of being delivered to the factory, the fresh

fish

Use synonyms

is cooked by being steamed with lemon juice and salt.

Then

Linking Words

the skin and bones are removed by hand and disposed of

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

before a visual inspection takes place.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the pies are assembled in microwaveable containers Peas and sauce, which have

also

Linking Words

been prepared, are added to the

fish

Use synonyms

and

then

Linking Words

the pie is covered with a layer of cooked potato slices. The pies are

then

Linking Words

wrapped and frozen. At

this

Linking Words

point

Add a comma

point,

show examples

they are ready for dispatch, or they may be stored at the factory before being dispatched.

alicema0503Thu May 30 2024

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

185 words

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The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The Internet should be made free for everyone. Do you argree or disagree

Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.