IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

the chart below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the given
Verb problem
The
show examples
 pie charts illustrate the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 consumed for various
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 by six
countries
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
, the percentage is divided based on the three categories that are industrial
use
Use synonyms
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and domestic
use
Use synonyms
. The four
countries
Use synonyms
 are highly consuming
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 among six
countries
Use synonyms
. The consumption of the
water
Use synonyms
 is least for domestic usage in all six
countries
Use synonyms
.
firstly
Linking Words
, Central Asia
is consumed
Wrong verb form
consumes
show examples
 more amount of
water
Use synonyms
 for agricultural
purposes
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 88% and
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
 two
purposes
Use synonyms
 are less than 10% of consumption. The high utilization of
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ranges between 80-85% are two
countries
Use synonyms
 that are Africa and South Asia which are 84% and 81% respectively.
However
Linking Words
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
purpose
Change to a plural noun
purposes
show examples
 are less than 15% in both cities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South America utilizes
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 amount of
water
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 sector with 71%, 19% in domestic
use
Use synonyms
 and 10% in industrial
use
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Europe and North America
are highly
Change the verb form
are highly using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
Industry
Replace the word
Industrial
show examples
purposes
Use synonyms
 with 53% and 48%
Whereas
Linking Words
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
show examples
 of the
water
Use synonyms
 for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and less than 15% of
water
Use synonyms
 for domestic
purposes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words water, countries, use, agriculture, purposes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: