The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

#four #destination #work #study #unemployment #graduate #students #university

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar diagrams present the volume of four different paths, excluding full-time work, that both British graduates and postgraduates apply for in the year 2008.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the number of graduates applying for

further

Linking Words

study in 2008 was a gigantic 29,665 followed by part-time jobs with 17,735. The unemployment career came in third place and represented 16,235,

finally

Linking Words

, the voluntaries accounted for a meagre 3,500. What is interesting to note is the first and the

last

Linking Words

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

were different by approximately 9 times.

Additionally

Linking Words

, postgraduates around a gigantic 2,725 chose to continue their studies and part-time work was different from the first group by a minuscule 200.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, unemployment and voluntary work remained at the same place with 1,625 and 345 respectively. What is surprising to see is postgraduates seeking

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the job were more than volunteers by 5 times.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

students are interested in

further

Linking Words

study and they are not keen on doing voluntary jobs.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Thu May 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

161 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some families people believe that children who are brought up in which don't have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up in wealthier families. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is widely debated that children raised in low-wage families are way more prepared for life challenges than those who have been fostered in affluent families. I partially agree, with the given statement and will give my opinion on both the facts.
6.5
band
You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?
I would like to discuss the problems I have been facing since I moved to the new apartment.
7.5
band
Some people believe that planing for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
People have different views as to whether the present is crucial to people or planning for the future. While there are some obvious advantages of planning purposes in advance, I believe that focusing on the present progress in terms of education and jobs is more critical to both individuals and society as a whole.
6.5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
To begin, most people believe that inside a satisfactory job or shortage of money is best to accept the bad situation. People think that it has some merits and demerits related to its positive and negative points which I will discuss in detail in the forthcoming paragraph.
7
band
There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Nowadays, young people face increasing pressure to succeed academically, as academic achievement is often seen as the gateway to future success. Some argue that to improve students' academic performance, non-academic subjects like physical education and cooking should be removed from the school syllabus. However, I strongly disagree with this perspective, as non-academic subjects also play an essential role in students' overall development.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

Some families people believe that children who are brought up in which don't have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up in wealthier families. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

You have recently moved into a company accommodation and you are facing some issues at the place. Write a letter to your HR department. In the letter, mention: • A brief description of your accommodation. • What problems are you facing? • What do you expect the company to do about it?

Some people believe that planing for the future is a waste of time because they think that focusing on the present is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.