The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.
The bar diagrams present the volume of four different paths, excluding full-time work, that both British graduates and postgraduates apply for in the year 2008.
To begin
with, the number of graduates applying for
further
study in 2008 was a gigantic 29,665 followed by part-time jobs with 17,735. The unemployment career came in third place and represented 16,235,
finally
, the voluntaries accounted for a meagre 3,500. What is interesting to note is the first and the
last
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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were different by approximately 9 times.
Additionally
, postgraduates around a gigantic 2,725 chose to continue their studies and part-time work was different from the first group by a minuscule 200.
Furthermore
, unemployment and voluntary work remained at the same place with 1,625 and 345 respectively. What is surprising to see is postgraduates seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the job were more than volunteers by 5 times.
Overall
,
it is clear that
students are interested in
further
study and they are not keen on doing voluntary jobs.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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