Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is
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Is
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a persent
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persent
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present
world ,
the
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apply
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technology is
usage
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used
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constantly in
wild
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the wild
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world a
lot
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of people
their
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and their
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children
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spend
huge
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apply
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time
in
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on
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the
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tv
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TV
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or computer
game
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games
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and they don't know it
effective
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is effective
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directly on
children
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's mental abilities. In
this
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easy,
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easy
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essay
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I will
say
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give
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my opinion
around
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on
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this
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topic. First of all, I think
in
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apply
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nowadays the main entertainment for any
child
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if
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is
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they play computer games or watch programs they like
it
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apply
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such
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a
lot
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of
children
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like
watchs
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watch
films cartoons or programs for
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a child
the child
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child
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children
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in the media like on
the
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apply
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YouTube that will
be
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apply
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the effect
an effect
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effect
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affect
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on
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apply
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children
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's mental if there are any control from their family there are a
lot
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f bad thing if the
child
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spend
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spends
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a
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lot
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lot of
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time watching
tv
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or play
camputer
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computer
one of them that effect on their mental after that may down the level their studies . On the
onther
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other
hand , the benefits when watch
tv
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or
play
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playing
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game
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games
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they
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are they
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able
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are able
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to improve activities and perhaps watch a good program on
tv
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we can say parents can
helps
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help
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their
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child's
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children
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if they
chooses
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choose
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the best channel to their
watchs
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watches
watch
or a good video games because there are a
lot
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of games it dedicated for
children
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. To sum
, if
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up, if
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children
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spent
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spend
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too much time
in
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on
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tv
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TV
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or video
game
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games
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that perhaps
effects
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affects
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on childern's mental if their
parnten's
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parents
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did
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do
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not
ant
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have
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control of them.
Submitted by sialamer on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic to provide a more robust framework for your essay. For example, specify whether you agree or disagree at the end of your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more concrete and relevant examples to support your main points. For example, discuss specific studies or evidence that show the effects of screen time on children's mental abilities.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb tense. For instance, 'effect' should be 'affect' and 'watchs' should be 'watches.'
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Good attempt to address both sides of the argument by discussing both the potential negative and positive effects of screen time on children.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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