Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
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Is
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Correct article usage
a persent
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persent
Correct your spelling
present
world ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology is
usage
Replace the word
used
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constantly in
wild
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the wild
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world a
lot
of people
their
Correct word choice
and their
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children
spend
huge
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apply
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time
in
Change preposition
on
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the
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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or computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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and they don't know it
effective
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is effective
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directly on
children
's mental abilities. In
this
Add a comma
easy,
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easy
Correct your spelling
essay
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I will
say
Verb problem
give
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my opinion
around
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on
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this
topic. First of all, I think
in
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apply
show examples
nowadays the main entertainment for any
child
if
Correct your spelling
is
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they play computer games or watch programs they like
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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such
a
lot
of
children
like
watchs
Correct your spelling
watch
films cartoons or programs for
Add an article
a child
the child
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child
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children
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in the media like on
the
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apply
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YouTube that will
be
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apply
show examples
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the effect
an effect
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effect
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affect
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on
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apply
show examples
children
's mental if there are any control from their family there are a
lot
f bad thing if the
child
spend
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spends
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a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
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time watching
tv
or play
camputer
Correct your spelling
computer
one of them that effect on their mental after that may down the level their studies . On the
onther
Correct your spelling
other
hand , the benefits when watch
tv
or
play
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playing
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game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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they
Add a missing verb
are they
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able
Add a missing verb
are able
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to improve activities and perhaps watch a good program on
tv
we can say parents can
helps
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help
show examples
their
child's
Change noun form
children
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if they
chooses
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choose
show examples
the best channel to their
watchs
Correct your spelling
watches
watch
or a good video games because there are a
lot
of games it dedicated for
children
. To sum
, if
Change preposition
up, if
show examples
children
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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too much time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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or video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
that perhaps
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on childern's mental if their
parnten's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not
ant
Correct your spelling
have
show examples
control of them.
Submitted by sialamer on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your position on the topic to provide a more robust framework for your essay. For example, specify whether you agree or disagree at the end of your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more concrete and relevant examples to support your main points. For example, discuss specific studies or evidence that show the effects of screen time on children's mental abilities.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb tense. For instance, 'effect' should be 'affect' and 'watchs' should be 'watches.'
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Good attempt to address both sides of the argument by discussing both the potential negative and positive effects of screen time on children.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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