IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

#power #countries #ban #alternative #sources #energy
The usage of nuclear
power
 in nations has to be stopped because of its danger, and the countries ought to focus on the renewable
energies productions
Fix the agreement mistake
energy production
show examples
 from
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
 and water. I strongly agree with
this
 statement
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reasons. On the one hand, I believe that nuclear
power
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 must be closed and their activities must be banned because of the danger of
this
energy
.
To begin
 with, the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has the
power
 to produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear
power
 counts as a threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other nations.
This
energy
 could be used as a destructive weapon with
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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 rate of fatality
,
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apply
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 and imposes fake strength
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the government
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 rules the nation.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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disasters
such
 as killing thousands of human beings using a nuclear bomb might
be happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
political issues.
Besides
, nuclear
energy
 has caused several environmental problems. It has numerous side effects and has
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature like
Correct article usage
a decreases
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decreases
Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
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 the soil quality or contaminants the water, and at least one hundred
year
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years
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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 for these damages to
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
show examples
.
For instance
, after the
Chernobil
Correct your spelling
Chernobyl
 nuclear
power
 plant explosion in
Russian
Replace the word
Russia
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 the large number of farming lands located near
th
Correct your spelling
the
 factory were ruined completely.
On the other hand
, trying to produce
energy
 from natural sources is safer. The renewable energies are considered as an eco-friendly
energy
 or green
energy
. In the process of generating
power
 from
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
, wind or water a small amount of
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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is
Verb problem
apply
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usually
remained
Wrong verb form
remains
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, and the remaining
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not harmful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. Little by little the majority of environmental
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 might be dissolved.
Moreover
, these kinds of energies are more accessible to the public and they often do not need enormous and modern factories. Their technologies are somehow simple and easy to use.
The ordinary
Correct article usage
Ordinary
show examples
 people can have a solar panel on their roof in order to generate electricity
power
, or a simple hydroelectric factory in coastal cities can produce
sufficient
Add an article
a sufficient
show examples
 amount of light for the town. In conclusion, nuclear
energy
 could be so dangerous not only for the human beings
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 for our planet. In my point of view, nations should concentrate more on natural resources as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
alternative
energy
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear
power
.
Submitted by Negar_seddigh on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve logical structure by organizing your points more clearly. Paragraphs should flow seamlessly from one to the next, maintaining a clear line of argumentation throughout.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more connecting words and phrases to link your ideas effectively. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will not only clarify your points but also make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more comprehensively and clearly. Sometimes, the essays can feel a little repetitive. Try to diversify your sentences and use a richer vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a solid framework and a sense of completion.
task achievement
You have responded to the task adequately, with relevant points and arguments discussed on both sides of the issue.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples to support your points, such as the Chernobyl disaster.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • radioactive contamination
  • meltdown
  • sustainable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable resources
  • fission process
  • energy grid
  • hazardous waste
  • decommissioning
  • safety protocols
What to do next:
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