Communication has changed significantly in the last 10 years. Discuss the positive and negative impacts of this change

Advancement
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Advancements
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in technological
gedgets
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gadgets
are
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have been
show examples
causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drastical
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drastic
change in the communication of
people
from
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for
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
last
decade. It has more pros rather than
the
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apply
show examples
cons. I will elaborate on my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. Technology advancement causes several advantages in the person’s growth. In the past, if
person’s
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a person’s
show examples
relative
were
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was
show examples
out of town
than
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then
show examples
the public used to write a letter and try to communicate, which had been very
time consuming
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time-consuming
show examples
.
However
, after
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the inventions
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inventions
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invention
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of the internet,
people
not only
share
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shared
show examples
everyday details with each other but
also
succor
people
for doing
the
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apply
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business,
purches
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purchasing
and
sale
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selling
show examples
their products. An outstanding example is that
,
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apply
show examples
international students can talk with their
family
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families
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regularly and share their
sarrow
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sorrow
sorrows
and happiness.
Moreover
, by doing international marketing of the
compeny
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company
, their financial security can
enhance
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be enhanced
show examples
and
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apply
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which
cause
Verb problem
has
show examples
Correct article usage
an exhelrating
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exhelrating
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exhilarating
impact on
country's
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the country's
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economy.
On the other hand
, it causes
the
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a
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negative impact by spending
much
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too much
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time
on
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apply
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chatting with
friend
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friends
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and family and
cause
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causes
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the
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a
show examples
detrimental effect on the
person
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person's
show examples
posture. It
also
decline
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declines
show examples
face-to- face
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face-to-face
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communications
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communication
show examples
.
As a result
, there are
decresing
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decreasing
the
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in the
show examples
verbal communication skills of the person.
However
,
people
can
makes
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make
show examples
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount of wage by doing
intertnational
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international
job
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jobs
show examples
. In recapitulation, I tend to deem that communication improvement has more
benefit
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benefits
show examples
on
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for
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the person in
this
fast world and
make
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makes
show examples
more
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it more
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conveneante
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convenient
convenience
for
the
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apply
show examples
people
despite fewer health
concern
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concerns
show examples
.
Submitted by milonishekhaliya on

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task
It's essential to address both positive and negative impacts more comprehensively. Currently, there is more emphasis on the positive side, while the negative side is relatively underdeveloped. Make sure to provide balanced arguments.
language
There are some grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that affect clarity. Work on sentence construction and grammar to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the essay flows logically from one point to the next. Better use of linking words and phrases would help in enhancing cohesion.
introduction
The essay does a good job of introducing the topic and stating the writer's opinion clearly.
examples
Strong examples are provided to support some of the points, particularly the benefits of technological advancements in communication.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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