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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #workers #country #b #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about the proportion of
men
 and women which they
workers
 in
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and
B
.
Overall
, the charts illustrated three categories
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
namely industry,
service
 and
agriculture
 in countries A and
B
. It is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
clear
country
B
Change noun form
B's
show examples
service
 of female
workers
 was the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 percentage
in contrast
country
Change preposition
to country
show examples
B
Change noun form
B's
show examples
agriculture
 of female
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest proportion. Now
turnin
Correct your spelling
turn
 to details . In
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 A Female
workers
 in
service
 made by nuder half per
cen
Correct your spelling
cent
while
 mela
workers
 in
service
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 56%
moreover
 the male
workers
 in industry was quarter percentage
whereas
 female
workers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 less than
men
 just under ten per
cent
 .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
per
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
cent
 of female
workers
 in
agriculture
 was 43% in
contrary
Correct your spelling
contrast
show examples
 mela
workers
 in
agriculture
 accounted for
nuder
Correct your spelling
under
show examples
 thirty
protion
Correct your spelling
per cent
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand , in
country
B
 the
pre
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
cent
 of
men
 which they work in
agriculture
 was double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
Change preposition
of female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
in addition
 in industry of
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
workers
 was above 30 %
while
 the women
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
nuder
Correct your spelling
under
show examples
 ten per
cent
Submitted by sialamer on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, workers, country, b, service, agriculture, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • gender employment rate
  • workforce
  • disparity
  • employment trend
  • notable difference
  • counterpart
  • demographic
  • labor market
  • sector
  • predominantly
  • employment rate
  • analysis
  • comparative study
  • statistical data
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