IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of male and female workers in country A and country B. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 pie chart displays the two countries working in three fields,
service
Use synonyms
,
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 and industry. It is clear from the graph that
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 have
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 percentages
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the sectors for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
Use synonyms
 A and B
Country
Fix the agreement mistake
Countries
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
both
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 in
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and B
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
preferred
service
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. To
illustraite
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, as shown from the figure, 56% of the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
service
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 49% of the
females
Use synonyms
.
Add a missing verb
do.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, 65% of
Males
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Country B are working on services too, and 88% of the
females
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 related to the industrial
males
Use synonyms
 works higher than the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 countries, which
recorded
Add a missing verb
is recorded
show examples
 by
males
Use synonyms
 50% , 32%
while
Linking Words
 the
females
Use synonyms
 8% and 11%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that
both
Use synonyms
 countries
as well as
Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
service
Use synonyms
 sectors rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other fields.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words service, males, females, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • gender employment rate
  • workforce
  • disparity
  • employment trend
  • notable difference
  • counterpart
  • demographic
  • labor market
  • sector
  • predominantly
  • employment rate
  • analysis
  • comparative study
  • statistical data
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