People feel that educational success is dependent on having a good teacher, others say it depends not the attitude of the student. Discuss both side and state your opinion

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Undoubtedly, to become
a success
Replace the word
successful

The word a success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in study is dependent on both
Professor
Correct article usage
the Professor

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and Pupil.
Tutor
Add an article
The tutor
A tutor

The noun phrase Tutor seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is doing his
jon
Correct your spelling
job

If you don’t want jon to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

but
student
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the student
a student

The noun phrase student seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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must think about
future
Correct article usage
the future

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to take
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects

It seems that prospect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss both sides and will give my own opinion. To
embark
Verb problem
begin

There may be a verb use issue here.

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with, it is
responsibility
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the responsibility

The noun phrase responsibility seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of tutors
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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they give
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

encouragement and provide proper instruction
in particular
Linking Words

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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects

It seems that subject may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to enhance the interest of
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in study. Because sometimes teachers become the reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children's learning failure as trainers just do their job to earn money they
are not make
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are not making
are not made

It appears that the form of the verb make does not work with are in this sentence.

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effective efforts to attract the
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

towards particular goals.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some kids
are lose
Change the verb form
are losing

It appears that the form of the verb lose does not work with are in this sentence.

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their motivation in education
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

careless tutors.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it
is totally depends
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totally depends

It appears that the form of the verb depends does not work with is in this sentence.

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on
person
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the person

The noun phrase person seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that
Correct word choice
whether

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he
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants

It seems that the verb want does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to achieve
succes
Correct your spelling
success

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in qualification or not as many
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

going
Wrong verb form
go

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb going. Consider changing it.

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to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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college or universities for entertainment and
wasting
Wrong verb form
waste

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb wasting. Consider changing it.

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the
hard earning
Correct your spelling
hard-earned

The word hard earning doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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money of their parents. As
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction As. Consider removing the comma.

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they have no intention about classes or subjects, they don't care what the professor is teaching, they just
remains
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remain

It appears that the subject pronoun they and the verb remains are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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busy
in
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their own
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip

It seems that gossips may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. If teachers ask them about notebooks and class tests they are
starting
Add the particle
starting to

It appears that the verb misbehave should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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misbehave with them
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

which tutors are afraid of taking
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

actions and force them
for studying
Change preposition
to study

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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. In conclusion, it is concluded that
coin
Correct article usage
the coin

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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has two sides in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case it would
be depend
Change the verb form
depend

It appears that the form of the verb depend does not work with be in this sentence.

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on both teachers and
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to achieve success in
educational
Add an article
the educational

The noun phrase educational field seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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field. But if
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher

The noun phrase teacher seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is not making much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must take it seriously and try their hardest.
Submitted by manpreetkaurzzx on

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task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but there is room for more detailed examples. For instance, you could mention specific efforts a good teacher might make, or how a motivated student might succeed despite poor teaching.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in your sentences by checking for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, consider revising 'they just remains busy in their own gossips' to 'they just remain busy gossiping.'
coherence cohesion
Revise and expand on your main points for stronger cohesion. Add more linking words to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next, for instance, 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' etc.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear starting point and summary for your essay.
task achievement
You have managed to present both sides of the argument fairly, which strengthens your task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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