Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
While
it is widely claimed that schools should emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
on
only academic performance rather than those Change preposition
apply
skills
such
as cookery, tailor
, and crafts that could be learned Wrong verb form
tailoring
elsewhere
out
of the Change preposition
outside
school
, others argue that those hand-on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
skills
should be included in the curriculum as well. Both point
of Fix the agreement mistake
points
views
and reasons why I agree with the former statement will be elaborated on in Fix the agreement mistake
view
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seems
sensible for some to believe that Change the verb form
seem
literated
Correct your spelling
literate
literature
subjects
should be the main aims of the school
. This
is possibly
because they viewed that Replace the adverb
possible
school
Change the article
a school
is
a place for cultivating Correct your spelling
as
student
to become Fix the agreement mistake
students
literated
and Correct your spelling
literate
liberated
seen
other Wrong verb form
see
subjects
besides
languages, mathematics, and sciences as a hobby. Take cookery, For example
; not every students
can cook and it Change to a singular noun
student
require
Change the verb form
requires
great
Correct article usage
a great
ammount
of funding in order to .
Many opponents of Correct your spelling
amount
this
idea might opposed
that schools should provide Verb problem
argue
variety
of experiences to the students, both academically and skillfully. Add an article
a variety
To simply
explain, not all family Change preposition
Simply
could
provide some Wrong verb form
can
skills
that their kids want to learn. For instance
, some parents might not have any of the mentioned skills
that can inherit to
their children. So Change preposition
from
that is
why the
academic institutes as Correct article usage
apply
such
should taught
basic Change the verb form
teach
be taught
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
for
their children to get Change preposition
to
the
basic idea of Correct article usage
a
it
and make use in the future on their own.
Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, I personally argue in favour of focusing on educated students with literacy related
Add a hyphen
literacy-related
subjects
seeing that served as the base of knowledge for them. For example
, in a remote area, I believe that these academic subjects
is
vital as it is help them to read, write, and Change the verb form
are
culculate
properly. Correct your spelling
calculate
calculated
Hence
, other skills
they already learned through their daily life.
In summary, although
it is undeniable that school
should not only focus on Fix the agreement mistake
schools
its
academic success of Change the word
the
its
learners but Correct pronoun usage
their
also
providing
non-academic Wrong verb form
provide
skills
to explore their ability
, I am of the opinion that I strongly agree that Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
school
should Fix the agreement mistake
schools
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
on
academic Change preposition
apply
performances
in order to provide a .Fix the agreement mistake
performance
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow and organization of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout. Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be more impactful. Strengthen your introductory paragraph by clearly stating your thesis statement, and provide a more conclusive summary in your conclusion.
task achievement
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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument more evenly and ensure that your arguments are clearly presented and well-developed.
task achievement
You've covered both points of view and explained why you support one side. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, helping the reader to follow your essay.