IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many workplaces, online communication is now more common than face-to-face meetings. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #meetings #trend
Can you imagine your life without electronic
communication
? Of course, not. Today, live
communication
 is prevalent mostly in the world of business.
However
, there are a number of plus and minus points which we discuss below.
To begin
 with, online correspondence is highly regarded as a key role in conserving time for those who commute regularly. Owing to the fact that
one
 may participate in any formal and informal meetings distantly. What is more, it has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great advantage regarding cost-effectiveness. Precisely,
one
 might economize financially by interacting online.
Conversely
, there appear a plethora of indisputable downsizes which arise from online
conference
Fix the agreement mistake
conferences
show examples
. The major drawback is that it is
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 connection network. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fact that internet
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 nowhere as swift as the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 in urban areas. Another negative side is the shortage of sufficient electricity. Inasmuch as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the individuals who reside in the countries are in need of electric power which gives rise not to be able to utilize any kind of electronic devices which help communicate from far away.
Additionally
, a lack of quality can be a fundamental example of the bad point of online
communication
.
Due to
 the fact that if there is no quality in contact,
one
 will not be able to secure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
effective
communication
. All in all, online
communication
 is believed to be commonplace in business as compared to physical meetings. From my point of view, organizing conventions online
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 its
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 counterparts. Because by doing so, we could enhance the productivity and efficacy in working places.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but the logical flow can be improved. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.
task response
Make sure to fully develop your arguments with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task response
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: