The chart below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two twons. Summarise the infromation.

The pie charts illustrate the 4 parts of employment in towns

Use synonyms

and A in 2009 and 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, Manufacturing, and

hospitality

Use synonyms

increased in

this

Linking Words

period for

town

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

was not the same for

town

Use synonyms

Hospitality

Use synonyms

and teaching grew in 2009 and 2020 for

town

Use synonyms

. It can be clearly seen that manufacturing increased dramatically by 40%, from 20% to 60 , and accounted for the majority of employment in 2020. During the same 11-year period, engineering dropped significantly from 60% to 17%.

In addition

Linking Words

, Teaching decreased very slowly, from 9% to 8%,

however

Linking Words

Hospitality

Use synonyms

experienced growth very moderately, from 11% in 2009 to 15% in 2020. Moving on to

town

Use synonyms

, the Manufacturing sector witnessed a large reduction in figures, from 40% to 25%,

while

Linking Words

Engineering remained steady.

In contrast

Linking Words

Hospitality

Use synonyms

and Teaching experienced growth of similar proportions, with teaching

rose

Wrong verb form

rising

show examples

from 10% in 2009 to 20% in 2020 and

Hospitality

Use synonyms

slightly less,

increased

Wrong verb form

increasing

show examples

by 5%, from 15% to 20%.

shahab.a

Jun 1, 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words b, hospitality, town with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

164 words

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The chart below describe 4 sector of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two twons. Summarise the infromation.

Many people believe that cooking is an essential life skill and should be taught to boys and girls in schools. Others disagree and believe it is a waste of school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change.

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

In many cities an increaing number of people do not knowtheir neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Some feel that cities shold be designed to be beautiful while others feel their functionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.