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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph below shows the consumption of fast food( in grams per week) in the UK from 1970 to 1990

The graph below shows the consumption of fast food( in grams per week) in the UK from 1970 to 1990
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The line graph highlights data on how much savoury food was consumed on a weekly basis by
Use synonyms
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 citizens over a couple of decades. Units are measured in grams per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is evident from the graph that there have been significant increases in the consumption of Fish and
Hamburger
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Hamburgers
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 during the second decade,
While
Linking Words
 the pizza the
Use synonyms
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 ate declined steadily over the whole period in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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question. It is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy
mentioning
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to mention
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 that Pizza was the most popular at the beginning of the time, and It ,
however
Linking Words
, ended up being the
last
Linking Words
 on the list in the end. Turning to the details, As for the amount of Fish&Chips consumed by
Use synonyms
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 people, It began at under 100 and saw a slight rise to 100 in the first quarter of
period
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the period
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.
Subsequently
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, the figure started to increase, peaking at 500 grams per week in 1990. Meanwhile, the same was true for the trend of
Hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
Hamburgers
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. It began at around 50, and
then
Linking Words
 there was a marginal increase to just above 100 before experiencing a rapid upward trend
by
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of
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 300 in the final year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, The pizza
eated
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eaten
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 by the
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british
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British
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 went
to
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in
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opposite
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the opposite
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 direction. Starting at 300 grams weekly in 1970, the figure
then
Linking Words
 dropped slowly to approximately 200, after which It remained constant at 200 for the rest of the period.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words british with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upward trend
  • surge
  • fluctuate
  • consumption patterns
  • dietary habits
  • processed food
  • socio-economic factors
  • percentage increase
  • marked rise
  • saturation point
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