IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #olympics #waste #money
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In modern times, It is a common belief that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
matches
Fix the agreement mistake
Match
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
one of the events that can bridge the
relationships
Change the noun form
relationship
show examples
 gap with distinctive countries.
Nevertheless
, Some people think that
this events
Change the determiner
this event
these events
show examples
 is the cause of
Correct article usage
the wastage
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of money
instead
 of using it for other useful things.
This
 essay will analyze both sides of the argument
further
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 treatise.
Besides
 that, from my point of view, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 games
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 many advantages to connecting globally. Admittedly,
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task achievement
Ensure to complete responses and support your points with specific examples. This will help in making your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally with clear transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Polish your introduction to make it more engaging and ensure you have a robust conclusion to sum up your arguments clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly, discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The points presented are relevant to the topic, indicating an understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promotes global unity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Tourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Active lifestyle
  • Financial undertaking
  • Economic burden
  • Underutilization
  • Wasted resources
  • White elephants
  • Opportunity cost
  • Critical areas
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
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