Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Other say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In modern times, It is a common belief that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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matches
Fix the agreement mistake
Match

It seems that matches may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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the
Change the article
apply

It appears that the phrase the one of does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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one of the events that can bridge the
relationships
Change the noun form
relationship

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of relationships. Consider changing it to singular.

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gap with distinctive countries.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Some people think that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this events
Change the determiner
this event
these events

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun events. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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is the cause of
Correct article usage
the wastage
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Correct article usage
the wastage

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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wastage
Replace the word
waste

The word wastage doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of money
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of using it for other useful things.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will analyze both sides of the argument
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
following
Correct article usage
the following

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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treatise.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that, from my point of view, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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games
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject Olympic games. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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many advantages to connecting globally. Admittedly,

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task achievement
Ensure to complete responses and support your points with specific examples. This will help in making your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Make sure each paragraph flows naturally with clear transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Polish your introduction to make it more engaging and ensure you have a robust conclusion to sum up your arguments clearly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly, discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The points presented are relevant to the topic, indicating an understanding of the issue at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promotes global unity
  • Cultural exchange
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Tourism
  • Infrastructure
  • Active lifestyle
  • Financial undertaking
  • Economic burden
  • Underutilization
  • Wasted resources
  • White elephants
  • Opportunity cost
  • Critical areas
  • Social welfare
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