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Writing Samples
Band 6

Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015

Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015
#bar #percentage #males #females #city #activities #month
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The bar chart indicates the proportion of
men
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 and
women
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 between 18 and 20 in
a
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an
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 urban who participated in diverse activities in a month in 2015 A glance at the bar chart provided reveals that, the most famous sport was
Football
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 for
males
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Cycling
,
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and basketball
Basketball
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promoted
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were promoted
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. But Swimming and Hockey diminished considerably. Cycling was by far the best sport for
women
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.
Basketball
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 and
Football
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 charmed over 50% of
men
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. Especially
Football
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 was by far the best exercise for
males
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. But at that time, females were not interested in
Football
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 and
Basketball
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 in 2015.
Basketball
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 charmed about 30
percentage
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per cent
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 of
men
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. The difference between the percentage in
Basketball
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 was less pronounced 10% of
women
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 played
Basketball
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 in
this
Linking Words
 month higher than the figure for
males
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 by approximately 18%. After that. Over 10% of females were interested in
Football
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. As for Cycling and Swimming are concerned. 40% of females for Cycling and over 30% of
women
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 for Swimming,
this
Linking Words
 exercise
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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engrossed
women
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. They were superior to
men
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 in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Hockey was diminished dramatically. Approximately 5% of
women
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 participated in Hockey. It
composed
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is composed
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over
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of over
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 10%of
males
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.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, football, males, basketball with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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