Writing Task 1 The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015

Writing Task 1

The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in a month in 2015
The bar chart indicates the proportion of
men
and
women
between 18 and 20 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
urban who participated in diverse activities in a month in 2015 A glance at the bar chart provided reveals that, the most famous sport was
Football
for
males
.
Similarly
, Cycling
,
Correct your spelling
and basketball
Basketball
promoted
Add a missing verb
were promoted
show examples
. But Swimming and Hockey diminished considerably. Cycling was by far the best sport for
women
.
Basketball
and
Football
charmed over 50% of
men
. Especially
Football
was by far the best exercise for
males
. But at that time, females were not interested in
Football
and
Basketball
in 2015.
Basketball
charmed about 30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of
men
. The difference between the percentage in
Basketball
was less pronounced 10% of
women
played
Basketball
in
this
month higher than the figure for
males
by approximately 18%. After that. Over 10% of females were interested in
Football
. As for Cycling and Swimming are concerned. 40% of females for Cycling and over 30% of
women
for Swimming,
this
exercise
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
engrossed
women
. They were superior to
men
in
this
essay. Hockey was diminished dramatically. Approximately 5% of
women
participated in Hockey. It
composed
Add a missing verb
is composed
show examples
over
Change preposition
of over
show examples
10%of
males
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, football, males, basketball with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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