The pie chart below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

The pie chart below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart presents the volume of retail
sector
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
-
travel
Use synonyms
,
film
Use synonyms
/
music
Use synonyms
, books and
clothes
Use synonyms
-
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online in New Zealand in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2003 and 2013.
According to
Linking Words
the data, it is evident that the
sales
Use synonyms
of
travel
Use synonyms
and the
clothes
Use synonyms
sectors
Use synonyms
saw a downward trend,
while
Linking Words
the
film
Use synonyms
/
music
Use synonyms
and the book
sectors
Use synonyms
increased substantially. Notably, the
clothes
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
showed a considerable drop from the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
online
sales
Use synonyms
to the least of online shopping
sales
Use synonyms
over the next decade. In 2003, the
travel
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
accounted for the dominant share of the market, at 36%, and the
clothes
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
was the second highest in total online
sales
Use synonyms
at 24%.
However
Linking Words
, in 2013, these two figures experienced a significant fall to 29% and 16% respectively. Compared with the two
sectors
Use synonyms
mentioned above,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
sales
Use synonyms
for
film
Use synonyms
/
music
Use synonyms
increased from 21% in 2003 to 33% in 2013, making it the greatest proportion of total online
sales
Use synonyms
in the retail
sectors
Use synonyms
. The book
sector
Use synonyms
rose from 19% in 2003 to 22% in 2013, reaching the same level as the
film
Use synonyms
/
music
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data indicates a shift in consumer preferences in the online retail
sector
Use synonyms
over the specified period, with a remarkable decline in the
travel
Use synonyms
and
clothes
Use synonyms
sectors
Use synonyms
and significant growth in
Use synonyms
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
/
music
Use synonyms
and book
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bhavifasai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, sales, travel, film, music, clothes, sectors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: