Writing Task 1 The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010

Writing Task 1 

The chart gives information about the percentage of overweight men and women in Australia from 1980 to 2010
The chart imparts
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
about the percentage of obese males and
females
in Australia from 1980
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
2010. A glance at the bar chart provided reveals that, Overweight
men
were growing dramatically
year
by
year
. As for
females
are concerned. Overweight
women
were
promoting
Wrong verb form
promoted
show examples
year
to
year
in Australia. In 1980
year
over 40% of
men
acquired over fit. 30% of
females
supersized
Add a missing verb
are supersized
show examples
. That was higher than the figure for males by about 5%. Individuals who were filling out. They filled out via breaking hormones or eating more meals. 50%of
men
supersized
Add a missing verb
were supersized
show examples
in Australia by 1990
year
. At that time, 40% of
women
participated.
Obesity
raised
Wrong verb form
has risen
show examples
dramatically.
That is
to say, 70% of
men
.
Females
consists
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
of 50
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in 2000. There were
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
20%. Overweight
men
decreased during the 10 years
in2010
Correct your spelling
in 2010
year
. About 68
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of
men
.
However
,
Women
's fit did not alter by 2010
year
.
Women
's
obesity
was fewer than
men
's
obesity
and
women
's
fit
Replace the word
fitness
show examples
was superior to
men
's
obesity
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words females, men, year, women, obesity with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: