The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #areas #cities #trend

these days some countries' governments are encouraging

industries

also

businesses

move

to regional areas outside the big cities

this

essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion On one hand, the advantages

encouraging

Change preposition

of encouraging

show examples

industries

and

businesses

to change places

industries

to a free

place

and to a good

place

for

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

and to the best

place

for example

now some countries taking

this

step so Kuwait taking

this

and many governments see

this

idea as important

in addition

to moving the

industries

as well as

a business

this

has many advantages one of the lot advantages that helps

people

to spend good life

then

and

that is

dangers on animals so that give city many places because the

industries

business pick large places and much spaces

furthermore

that are subjects countries On the other disadvantage encouraging

industries

then

businesses

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

many disadvantages one of mush the changing

place

that wants money

this

reason loss money of company

then

the government

also

this

causes dangers

live

Add the particle

to live

show examples

the animals

also

if want to go to

industries

that need time because

way

Add an article

the way

show examples

some

people

do not think

this

is a good job

also

now some

people

asking of government do not

move

the pleas reason in

industries

work there

people

so the job is important of

people

In conclusion, after watching both points of view.I believe the

move

industries

in addition

businesses

Change preposition

to businesses

show examples

that are important now must

move

because

that is

a problem for

people

and that damage to oxygen and oxygen is important to

people

Submitted by s97580011 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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coherence

Try to develop your ideas more clearly and logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported with relevant examples. For instance, explaining why moving industries helps reduce pollution could make your point stronger.

cohesion

Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar to enhance the readability of your essay. For example, using linking words like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'However,' will help in organizing your ideas.

task response

Avoid generalizations and overly broad statements. Providing specific examples and details can make your arguments more convincing. For instance, instead of saying 'many advantages,' specify what these advantages are.

general

You have made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a good practice for a balanced essay.

conclusion

You have a clear conclusion that reflects your opinion on the matter, which is essential for a coherent essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The following is an essay submitted by one of our students. In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or military. Others think women are less suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.