IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and
pollution
 which lead to environmental
problems
 are widely discussed questions. Many ways are proposed to solve these
problems
. One of them is
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 cost of
petrol
.
This
 essay will shed light
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 issue and some other measurements which may be beneficial relating to
this
 problem. In my opinion, one of the best ways to decrease the growth of
traffic
 and air
pollution
 is increasing
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
petrol
.
Although
 the high cost of
petrol
 cannot solve the
traffic
problems
 immediately. It may take several years
until
Correct word choice
for
show examples
cars
 will become unpopular among people. In spite of that expensive
petrol
 is the best way to convince society to change their transport from
cars
 to bikes.
For example
, 15 years ago in Poland,
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
petrol
 was raised up to three times. At
first,
people gave up their personal
cars
 and public transport became the most popular for some time. After a few years, bike's popularity increased significantly among citizens. Nowadays, almost everyone in Poland uses bicycles
instead
 of
cars
. It led to decreasing
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 amount of
traffic
 on the roads. Relatively, it had
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 influence on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pollution
 issue.
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
 research work of Polish scientists showed that
pollution
 degree is two times reduced in big cities in comparison to the past period. Some other ways
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and air
pollution
problems
 solution are increasing taxes
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 personal transport, Popularizing of
bike
Correct article usage
the bike
show examples
 lifestyle,
white
Correct word choice
and white
show examples
 advertising of eco-companies subsidizing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
railway systems
instead
 of high roads by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your essay. Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea, and your main points should be logically ordered to enhance readability.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas more comprehensively in the second body paragraph. You introduced several other measures but did not elaborate on them. Providing detailed explanations and examples can strengthen your points.
task achievement
Work on refining sentence structure to avoid grammatical errors and improve clarity. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to understand.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example about Poland which effectively supports your argument on increasing petrol prices.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the main point (increasing petrol prices) and also suggesting other measures to tackle traffic and pollution problems.
coherence cohesion
The essay stays on topic throughout and maintains a logical flow, which contributes to its overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: