A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In the contemporary world, a significant amount of resources are directed
for
Change preposition
toward
oil
and gas
exploration operations. Bearing in mind the fact that,
fossil fuels are finite in the environment, investing in infinite Remove the comma
apply
energy
sources like wind
and solar power would be more
feasible investment choice. It is my contention that not only Correct article usage
a more
oil
and gas
energy
is detrimental to the environment, but also
they are finite in the earth's crust, therefore
, I believe shifting towards renewable energy
sources will bring in a
numerous additional benefits to us.
First up, scientists have predicted that the earth has solely left 40 years enough of fossil fuels Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
await
to be Add the particle
to await
extrated
, Correct your spelling
extracted
extradited
therefore
, importance
of switching towards alternative Add an article
the importance
energy
providers is unquestionably critical for the
humanity to evolve into its next shape. Luckily, the earth has ample Correct article usage
apply
amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
energy
resources that are infinite and eco-friendly at the same time. Many countries including the heavy oil
and gas
suppliers instead
of financing new oil&
Correct your spelling
oil and gas
gas
investigation operations, they
are heavily investing in the development of Correct pronoun usage
apply
solar powered
Add a hyphen
solar-powered
energy
plants and wind
turbines as they offer a promising and impactful future to them. For example
, almost all of the OPEC countries are now in a race to becoming
a world leader in renewable Wrong verb form
become
energy
production lead
by the China and US. Thereby, I believe renewable Wrong verb form
led
energy
is the panacea to combact
global warming and cut off the CO2 emissions which are emitted by fossil fuel users.
Correct your spelling
combat
Moreover
, besides
the renowned advantages, the cost of green energy
is almost as competitive as oil
energy
. As the
more investor interest shift towards eco-friendly Correct article usage
apply
energy
, the price to harness solar, wind
or hydro power
is getting lower Correct your spelling
hydropower
everyday
, Replace the word
every day
thus
, bridging the gap between traditional and modern energy
sources. Given all these advantages, investors appear to be highly receptive to green investment pitches, making it easier than ever to attract potential customers for such
investments. One of the most powerful side
of renewable Change to a plural noun
sides
energy
is that it will remedy the damage caused by oil
energy
and this
alone is enough to prioritize renewable energy
.
In conclusion, although
initially
many individuals were Add a comma
initially,
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
on
the idea of sun and Change preposition
of
wind
power supersiding
Correct your spelling
superseding
supervising
oil
and gas
energy
, the reality elucidates a completely opposite scenario as the potential of green resources is unparalleled in comparison to any other alternatives.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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task achievement
The main points in the body paragraphs should be more clearly supported with relevant and specific examples. While the example of OPEC countries investing in renewable energy is useful, adding more specific details and evidence would strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure is maintained by clearly connecting ideas between sentences and paragraphs. For example, some sentences in the second body paragraph could be better linked to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence variety and use of more complex structures to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing the importance of investing in renewable energy over fossil fuels.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly outline the main points of the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example