IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #country’s #economy #money
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Several
opine
Change to a plural noun
opines
show examples
 that a country’s economy would be better off if the population
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to spend rather than save.
While
 people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe saving facilitates economic
growth
, I think spending would leave a bigger impact on the country’s development. On the one hand, people who believe savings generate economic
growth
 have few reasons for
such
 an idea.
This
 could be explained
due to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the fact that savings allow banks to hold a larger amount of reserved
money
.
Therefore
,
this
 boosts the financial institutions lending power which allows them to lend
money
 out at a lower interest rate.
Hence
, motivates firms to borrow
money
 for
further
 investment, leading to economic
growth
.
In addition
 to that, savers would
also
 benefit from
extra
Add an article
the extra
show examples
 income that comes in the form of
interest earning
Add a hyphen
interest-earning
show examples
 which they can use for more daily expenses. The rising consumption from
this
 would
also
 nourish the
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 improvement.
On the other hand
, I suggest that spending would act more as a factor that
enhance
Change the verb form
enhances
show examples
economics
Replace the word
economic
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. Investment and consumption that
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to help the economy grow are by nature two forms of expenses.
For instance
, a purchase of one item in the convenience store
spare
Replace the word
spares
show examples
seller
Correct article usage
a seller
show examples
 with extra units of
money
 for
further
 expenditure which is a growing economic activity.
Moreover
, the action of spending
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence among
money
 users, influencing the whole society to perform
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 tasks.
Thus
, the idea of economic
growth
 from spending is consolidated.
To sum up
, both saving and spending could create economic
growth
due to
 discussed reasons.
However
, to achieve the ultimate rate of
growth
, saving and spending
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at the same time would leave a bigger impact.
Submitted by anhnguyen270407 on

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example advice
Consider adding more relevant and specific examples to support your points, especially in the section where you discuss the benefits of spending money.
grammar advice
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical errors and refine sentence structures. This will enhance clarity and coherence in your essay.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument and providing a balanced opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay are well-structured, providing a clear framework for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically organized, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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