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The pie chart shows the proportion of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It also indicates the results of surveys asking visitors how they felt about their visit during the same two periods

The pie chart shows the proportion of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It also indicates the results of surveys asking visitors how they felt about their visit during the same two periods
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The pie chart shows the proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It
also
Linking Words
 indicates the results of surveys asking
visitors
Use synonyms
 how they felt about their visit during the same two periods.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a development in the total
number
Use synonyms
 of visits and percentage of satisfied and very satisfied answers,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of very dissatisfied and dissatisfied respondents decreases. Looking at the details, it is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
 that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 significantly increased from 74,000 to 92,000 during the year after the Museum was refurbished.
In addition
Linking Words
, comparing the
number
Use synonyms
 of satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 we can
also
Linking Words
 see an upward trend (it increased from 30% and 40% after the
refubrishment
Correct your spelling
refurbishment
).
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of very satisfied
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased by 20%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of dissatisfaction decreased from 40% to 15%. The
number
Use synonyms
 of dissatisfied decreases halved.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
unresponse
Correct your spelling
unresponsive
 responses stays the same.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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