The pie chart shows the proportion of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It also indicates the results of surveys asking visitors how they felt about their visit during the same two periods

The pie chart shows the proportion of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It also indicates the results of surveys asking visitors how they felt about their visit during the same two periods
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The pie chart shows the proportion of
visitors
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to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. It
also
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indicates the results of surveys asking
visitors
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how they felt about their visit during the same two periods.
Overall
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, there is a development in the total
number
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of visits and percentage of satisfied and very satisfied answers,
while
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the proportion of very dissatisfied and dissatisfied respondents decreases. Looking at the details, it is
obviously
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obvious
show examples
that the total
number
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of
visitors
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significantly increased from 74,000 to 92,000 during the year after the Museum was refurbished.
In addition
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, comparing the
number
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of satisfied
visitors
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we can
also
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see an upward trend (it increased from 30% and 40% after the
refubrishment
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refurbishment
).
Similarly
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, the
number
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of very satisfied
visitors
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increased by 20%.
In contrast
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, the percentage of dissatisfaction decreased from 40% to 15%. The
number
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of dissatisfied decreases halved.
While
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the
number
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of
unresponse
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unresponsive
responses stays the same.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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