Computer games are very popular in all age groups and nationalities. Parents think it has little educational value and harmful effects. What is your opinion about this? Give examples based on your own experience.

Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technologies are becoming more
advance
Correct word choice
advanced
show examples
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the
computer
games
' development.
The
Correct article usage
Computer
show examples
computer
games
have entered all age groups and nationalities.
However
, some people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
would
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
adolescents'
education
and
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their lives. In my opinion, I agree that
computer
games
could affect
children
's
education
and their
health
. Here are my explanations.
First,
based on my experiences, only a few
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
of
computer
games
have positive benefits related to
education
. Most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
are less
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for
education
and sometimes
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
cause addiction
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
,
implicating
Verb problem
resulting
show examples
in decreasing their performance in school.
Second,
the
computer
games
could affect the adolescents' mental condition.
This
situation is caused by most
computer
games
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
containing violence and other bad things that could
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a bad influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
children
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
Third,
computer
games
can cause
health
problems. When people
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
to
computer
games
, they can able to spend
Correct article usage
a long-time
show examples
long-time
Correct your spelling
long time
show examples
in front of the monitor.
Furthermore
,
this
condition could result
eyes
Change the noun form
eye
show examples
problem because the
computer
monitors radiate a wave where in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
it can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
eyes'
Correct article usage
the eyes'
show examples
health
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
should be restricted from
children
. In spite of having fun
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer
games
, it could bring some
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
, where the
computer
games
could make addiction to
children
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad influences
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
's mental, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
children
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
problems.
Submitted by rlsatria on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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