IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the
Use synonyms
cement making
Add a hyphen
cement-making
show examples
 process, and how
cement
Use synonyms
 is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
Cement
Use synonyms
 production
beginning
Wrong verb form
begins
show examples
 from crushing the limestone and clay. From
this
Linking Words
 stage, the limestone and clay are powder now. Mixed and going to
rotating
Change the form of the verb
rotate
show examples
. And it's how the limestone and clay becomes
cement
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
cement
Use synonyms
 is packed into bags. There are four ingredients for concrete production
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
cement
Use synonyms
 (15%), water (10%), sand (25%) and gravel (50%). These four ingredients
mixing
Wrong verb form
are mixed
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
concrete
Correct article usage
a concrete
show examples
 mixer. And throughout these
stages
Add a comma
stages,
show examples
 we get a finished product.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add some linking words.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: