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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

To graph blow shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.

To graph blow shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.
#blow #percentage #workers #country #kingdom
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The graph indicates the percentage of part-time workers in four countries in 1980 and 2010. The initial impression is that about 30
percent
Use synonyms
 of workers did part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in 1980 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had a slight increase to approximately 35
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2010 .
More
Rephrase
Moreover
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over
Change preposition
apply
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in England almost 25
percent
Use synonyms
off
Change preposition
of
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labors
Replace the word
labourers
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 did
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 tasks.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose significantly nearly 5
percent
Use synonyms
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 2010.
In addition
Linking Words
, roughly 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of Scotlandines
Act
Correct your spelling
worked
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 half of the day as their job which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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approximately
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled in 2010.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in Northern Ireland just over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of people had part-time jobs. it decreased marginally well under 15
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 most of the countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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mentioned above, had a considerable ascend over 30 years in the percentage of part-time
labors
Replace the word
labourers
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, the percentage of folks who lived in northern Ireland had a partial decline.
Submitted by Elnaz.darang on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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