The firs t chart below shows how energy is used in an average A ustralian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas em issions which result from this energy use. Summarise the inform ation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make com parisons where relevant

#firs #energy #ustralian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #issions #summarise #inform #ation #features #com #parisons

The pie

graph

depicts the

comparation

Correct your spelling

comparison

between how

energy

is used in

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

Australian household and

greenhouse

gas

emission

Fix the agreement mistake

emissions

show examples

. As we can notice, there is a big difference between the two graphs, which is the percentage of how much

energy

was caused by using heating, with 42% of the total in

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

house and only 15% of the total in

greenhouse

Add an article

the greenhouse

a greenhouse

show examples

. There is not a big deal between the

energy

used by water heating, with the number

remain

Wrong verb form

remaining

show examples

around 30%. The percentage of refrigeration in

greenhouse

Add an article

the greenhouse

a greenhouse

show examples

is two times more than that in

average

Add an article

the average

an average

show examples

house,

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

14% and 7%. Another obvious difference we will notice is the cost of other appliances, with 15% in the first

graph

and 28% in the second

graph

, which is nearly two

times’

Change noun form

times

show examples

growth

Correct article usage

the growth

show examples

. Meanwhile, the

energy

usage of cooling and lighting

remain

Correct subject-verb agreement

remains

show examples

stable, with the number under 10%. After all, the pie

graph

clearly

demonstrate

Change the verb form

demonstrates

show examples

that

greenhouse

Correct article usage

the greenhouse

show examples

has a great influence on reducing the

energy

of heating.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

the usage of cooling, lighting ,

water

Correct word choice

and water

show examples

heating

remain

Change the verb form

remains

show examples

stable.

However

, the percentage of other appliances and refrigeration

witness

Wrong verb form

witnessed

show examples

clearly

Change the adverb

clear

show examples

rise.

Submitted by 1346668290 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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Linking words: Add more linking words.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, energy, greenhouse with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The firs t chart below shows how energy is used in an average A ustralian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas em issions which result from this energy use. Summarise the inform ation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make com parisons where relevant

The addiction tho the internet is a widespread problem. What problems does it cause and what is a suitable solution

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people tend to buy products or get services instantly, without waiting. Why is it happening? Is this a positive or a negative development?