Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Presently, there is an ongoing debate on whether
governments
should or should not invest much money
in Olympics
. It is the opinion of Correct article usage
the Olympics
writer
that Add an article
the writer
Correct article usage
the Olympics
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
games
play an important role in bridging the gap, but its money
should be used for the
others like charity.
First and foremost, Correct article usage
apply
Correct article usage
the Olympics
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
games
contribute to bond the gap among countries. In other words
, with a view to organizing an
Correct the article-noun agreement
Olympics events
an Olympics event
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
events
, it
requires the funding of most Correct pronoun usage
apply
nation
all over the world, leading to Fix the agreement mistake
nations
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
a
cooperation Remove the article
apply
of
investment. Change preposition
in
As a consequence
, the presidents, even a
Correct article usage
apply
citizen
, may create a new relationship with each other. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Furthermore
, Olympics
is Correct article usage
the Olympics
an
massive Change the article
a
events
of Change the noun form
event
sports
, thereby attracting more and more people who are keen on physical activities. Fix the agreement mistake
sport
Besides
, when a match like football
match occurs in a particular country, their fan will come to that nation. Change the article
a football
Therefore
, they have opportunities for befriend
and communication. Take a previous Change the verb form
befriending
Olympics
as a primary example, where many international people focus on.
However
, it is recognized that governments
waste a huge of money
on Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
games
. Firstly
, that money
should be spent on charity. To explain, the better our standard of living are
, the higher the amount of poverty is, causing Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
delay
in Fix the agreement mistake
delays
economic
development of countries, Add an article
the economic
whereas
Olympics
can make a profit for them. So that, Correct article usage
the Olympics
governments
prioritize the enhancements of living
cost of each citizen in their own countries. It is true in Vietnam, where there is a lack of amenities for people Correct article usage
the living
disabilities
, but the presidents always donate their Change preposition
with disabilities
money
on
Change preposition
to
this
sports Correct determiner usage
these
events
.
From my perspective, the funding of Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
events
can be shared for
special Change preposition
with
centre
. By making use of prizes for Fix the agreement mistake
centres
orphanage
or something, Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
this sport
activities not only are Fix the agreement mistake
these sports
foundation
of linking Add an article
the foundation
international
gap but Correct article usage
the international
also
make mental values
in Fix the agreement mistake
value
money
. For instance
, few football clubs have created a charitable foundations
with the Correct the article-noun agreement
a charitable foundation
charitable foundations
money
they got from each match they had won. Thus
, governments
can spend money
meaningfully.
Taking all points into account, Correct article usage
the Olympics
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
games
are considered as
Change preposition
apply
a
exciting event but Change the article
an
wasting
a lot of Wrong verb form
waste
money
. Hence
, governments
should have a management in expenditure so as to create a conducive environment for residents.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and provides relevant points that address both sides of the debate. However, some arguments could be more clearly articulated and supported with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the coherence and cohesion by ensuring that all parts of the essay are logically connected. Use linking words more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and ensure that your ideas are clearly and accurately expressed. This will help in conveying your points more convincingly.
task achievement
You have successfully written an essay that discusses both viewpoints and provides your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?