Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
The phenomenon of separating children from living with parents,
that
has Correct pronoun usage
which
became
common recently, brings discussion in modern society. I suppose that Change the verb form
become
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
consequances
Correct your spelling
consequences
overweght
Correct your spelling
overweight
negative
sides of the phenomenon.
As for Correct article usage
the negative
advantage
of living Correct article usage
the advantage
along
or with friends, the mental Correct your spelling
alone
mature
will be considered. For Replace the word
maturity
Correct your spelling
instance
instanse
, I Correct your spelling
instance
Verb problem
apply
had
moved from my parents at 21 years oldUnnecessary verb
apply
,
and faced Remove the comma
apply
Change preposition
apply
with
Change preposition
apply
Correct your spelling
obstacles
obstacls
of Correct your spelling
obstacles
Correct your spelling
staying
staing
Correct your spelling
staying
Change preposition
apply
along
in the flat Change preposition
apply
such
as making meals, Correct your spelling
repairing
reparing
the Correct your spelling
repairing
Correct your spelling
apartment
appartment
and Correct your spelling
apartment
Correct your spelling
organising
organazing
my Correct your spelling
organising
Correct your spelling
schedule
shedule
. All Correct your spelling
schedule
that
activities developed my skills and made me more responsible for my Correct determiner usage
those
live
. Replace the word
life
Moreover
, individuals who share an appartment
with friends, may have Correct your spelling
apartment
tackle
Fix the infinitive
to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
misunderstanding
and have to learn how they can get Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
along with
people. As a result
, youngsters achieve many essential live knowlege
and Correct your spelling
knowledge
becama
more Correct your spelling
became
become
consiouse
.
Correct your spelling
conscious
In addition
, it is hard to deny that living without a family demans
more financial Correct your spelling
demands
demand
resourses
, which stimulates individuals Correct your spelling
resources
study
more and grow in the career ladder. In my city, renting an Add the particle
to study
appartment
costs near to one Correct your spelling
apartment
thouthand
Correct your spelling
thousand
dollar
per month; Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
however
, utilitis
and purchasing food Correct your spelling
utilities
also
have to be added to my personal budjet
. In other Correct your spelling
budget
worts
, Correct your spelling
words
this
situation motivates people to achieve new job opportunities in order to earn more money or to be appointed to a higher work position. Alternatively, individuals who live with mothers and fathers may not rely
care about promotion at work or Verb problem
apply
moreover
, may not work at all.
In the
Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
I would emphasize the Add a comma
conclution,
phycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
mature
that Replace the word
maturity
an
person might Change the article
a
acknowlege
when she Correct your spelling
acknowledge
living
without Wrong verb form
lives
parents
and the financial independence with needs to develop in income.Correct pronoun usage
her parents
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task achievement
You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear stance, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure that explicitly outlines your main points in the introduction and ensures each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
While you have given examples and explained your points, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make it harder to follow your argument. Focus on improving sentence structure and eliminating basic grammar mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points more effectively. Try to restate your opinion in light of the arguments you have made.
task achievement
You have provided personal examples to support your points, which adds a personal touch and makes your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the issue and your stance on it, which makes it easier for the reader to understand your position.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example