Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #friends #families #trend #impact #communities

The phenomenon of separating children from living with parents,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

has

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

common recently, brings discussion in modern society. I suppose that

positive

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the positive

show examples

consequances

Correct your spelling

consequences

overweght

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overweight

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

sides of the phenomenon. As for

advantage

Correct article usage

the advantage

show examples

of living

along

Correct your spelling

alone

show examples

or with friends, the mental

mature

Replace the word

maturity

show examples

will be considered. For

Correct your spelling

instance

instanse

Correct your spelling

instance

, I

Verb problem

apply

show examples

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

moved from my parents at 21 years old

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and faced

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

obstacles

obstacls

Correct your spelling

obstacles

Correct your spelling

staying

staing

Correct your spelling

staying

Change preposition

apply

show examples

along

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in the flat

such

as making meals,

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repairing

reparing

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repairing

the

Correct your spelling

apartment

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

and

Correct your spelling

organising

organazing

Correct your spelling

organising

Correct your spelling

schedule

shedule

Correct your spelling

schedule

. All

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

activities developed my skills and made me more responsible for my

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

Moreover

, individuals who share an

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

with friends, may have

tackle

Fix the infinitive

to tackle

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

misunderstanding

Fix the agreement mistake

misunderstandings

show examples

and have to learn how they can get

along with

people.

As a result

, youngsters achieve many essential live

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and

becama

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became

become

consiouse

Correct your spelling

conscious

In addition

, it is hard to deny that living without a family

demans

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demands

demand

more financial

resourses

Correct your spelling

resources

, which stimulates individuals

study

Add the particle

to study

show examples

more and grow in the career ladder. In my city, renting an

appartment

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apartment

costs near to one

thouthand

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thousand

dollar

Fix the agreement mistake

dollars

show examples

per month;

however

utilitis

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utilities

and purchasing food

also

have to be added to my personal

budjet

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budget

. In other

worts

Correct your spelling

words

show examples

this

situation motivates people to achieve new job opportunities in order to earn more money or to be appointed to a higher work position. Alternatively, individuals who live with mothers and fathers may not

rely

Verb problem

apply

show examples

care about promotion at work or

moreover

, may not work at all. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

conclusion

conclution

Add a comma

conclution,

show examples

I would emphasize the

phycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

show examples

mature

Replace the word

maturity

show examples

that

Change the article

show examples

person might

acknowlege

Correct your spelling

acknowledge

when she

living

Wrong verb form

lives

show examples

without

parents

Correct pronoun usage

her parents

show examples

and the financial independence with needs to develop in income.

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the prompt and provided a clear stance, which is good. However, your essay would benefit from a clearer structure that explicitly outlines your main points in the introduction and ensures each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

While you have given examples and explained your points, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that make it harder to follow your argument. Focus on improving sentence structure and eliminating basic grammar mistakes.

coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points more effectively. Try to restate your opinion in light of the arguments you have made.

task achievement

You have provided personal examples to support your points, which adds a personal touch and makes your argument more relatable.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets up the issue and your stance on it, which makes it easier for the reader to understand your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Erosion
Communal cohesion
Geographical dispersion
Interpersonal relationships
Socio-economic factors
Real estate dynamics
Psychological well-being
Technological facilitation
Independence
Traditional vs modern lifestyles
Intergenerational relationships
Virtual communities

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Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Topic: Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

In many counties people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disagvantages?

Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples

Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.