Some people say that parents should spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there are other sources for stories such as books, TV, and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Story telling
to Correct your spelling
Storytelling
children
is a usual way to family, however
, in this
era, some discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
said
TV or Wrong verb form
say
internet
can replace Correct article usage
the internet
parents
on the thing
. In Fix the agreement mistake
things
this
essay
I will talk about each side of view and my thought.
Telling stories to Add a comma
essay,
children
is not only giving a company but also
improving kid's
brain growth. Change noun form
their
Firstly
, kids ask for a story
reading with parents
until eight years old, therefore
, they start having their own friends, besides
, hanging out with classmates and friends will be more fun than story telling
. Correct your spelling
storytelling
Consequently
, parents
reading stories with toddler
is a great way Fix the agreement mistake
toddlers
on bonding
in parenting. The more Change preposition
to bond
time
parents
spend on connecting with kid
the more Fix the agreement mistake
kids
loves
and Fix the agreement mistake
love
feedbacks
will be received.
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
children
learn everything from home which the
first place to stay, obviously, speaking and listening included. Add a missing verb
is the
By reading
a storybook Change preposition
Reading
with
Change preposition
apply
parents
can let toddler
know Fix the agreement mistake
toddlers
pronunciation
and letter Add an article
the pronunciation
combination
in words, in order to Fix the agreement mistake
combinations
growing
their Change the verb
grow
brain
efficiently.
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
Moreover
, nowadays, electronics can do the same thing but less
love and bonding Change preposition
with less
to
family. Change preposition
with
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
is
a emotional Verb problem
apply
animal
, if electronics replace family Fix the agreement mistake
animals
on
Change preposition
apply
story telling
will Correct your spelling
storytelling
be
less Verb problem
take
time
on
Change preposition
to
connection
Replace the word
connect
in
family members. Without bonding in Change preposition
with
family
will cause more accidents. Add an article
the family
As
my opinion, Change preposition
In
parents
should spend more time
on
reading stories with kids than doing other things in order to build up more Change preposition
apply
connection
in Fix the agreement mistake
connections
family
.
In conclusion, everyone Add an article
the family
discuss
about Change the verb form
discusses
time
spending
on Wrong verb form
spent
story telling
to Correct your spelling
storytelling
children
is worthy or should be replaced by TV and Correct article usage
the internet
internet
, Capitalize word
Internet
however
, reading story
to kid
by Fix the agreement mistake
kids
parents
or family member
is Fix the agreement mistake
members
more
efficient way Correct article usage
a more
on
Change preposition
to
children
's brain growth and family bonding.Submitted by d11206 on
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task achievement
The introduction could be more clearly structured. Consider stating both views more explicitly before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
While the essay contains logical points, it could benefit from improved logical structuring. Make sure each paragraph clearly corresponds to a specific point.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is developed with relevant examples to provide concrete evidence for your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should be more concise and clearly summarize the key points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay tackles both views presented in the prompt, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is an effort to provide reasons for each point made, reflective of a coherent argumentative structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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