in many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parent's home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends.Is this a positive or negative development?
in many countries in the world, young people choose to leave their parent's homes when they finish school.
however
, they live alone or they share their houses with friends. I believe that according to
modern society , this
decision can be correct , Although
there are some challenges for them.
To begin
with , it is clear that
almost most children like to be dependent. however
, they can not live with their parents for always.Furthermore
, they must learn to continue their lives without support from their families.there
are some advantages Capitalize word
There
Tnd
some disadvantages to Correct your spelling
and
this
decision. for example
, they try to explore their skills and earn money from their abilities. in addition
, they learn to manage and save their money to buy a house or car. on the other hand
, they must do their routine wor
, Correct your spelling
work
such
as cooking , washing the dishes or go the bank. they have to multi-task at the same time often and this
is a good point for their future.in
other words , it helps to get strong in front of problems.I agree that children should leave their parent's home because of these reasons.
there are some disadvantages to Capitalize word
In
this
issue. for instance
, when they get sick , they must care themeselves
and it is very hard obviously or they feel homesick Correct your spelling
themselves
due to
the distance between them and themselves. in the meantime , there are not good friends always and it may create unhealthy friendships.Hence
they should be careful for finding friends.
to sum up
, leaving a parent's home is beneficial as it improves children's abilities , Although
there are some problems with this
decision. Thus
. everyone should decide according to
their own personality.Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on
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task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make the essay more polished and easier to read. This includes proper use of articles, verb tenses, and word forms. Rewriting some sentences in a clearer manner will help in achieving more comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by connecting ideas more smoothly and clearly. Use logical connectors (e.g., 'therefore,' 'furthermore') more effectively to improve the flow from one idea to another.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples that directly support the main points made in the essay. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of young people moving out of their parents' home, showing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument in the essay.
task achievement
The topic is contemporary and highly relevant, which shows an understanding of modern societal trends.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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