Young people are often influenced in their behaviours by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
The
peer
group tends to exert influence
on the way teenagers behave. While
many believe that the influence
of peers is immensely important, others opine that it has its obvious drawbacks. I believe that the benefits peer
pressure
brings outweigh the disadvantages because it can still instil positive
attitude towards education, despite the primary drawback, namely Add an article
a positive
substance
use, or so on it may cause.
The influence
of peers can inspire young people to build positive behaviours
, make good choices, and strive for academic excellence. When friends place emphasis on education and academic performance, it can exert a positive impact on the young's attitude torwards
learning. Correct your spelling
toward
For instance
, students who maintain a friend circle who
possess Correct word choice
and
strong
work ethicCorrect article usage
a strong
,
may feel a strong motivation to study diligently with them.
Remove the comma
apply
However
, peer
pressure
can also
exert influence
on young people to engage in deviant behaviours
. It may make young adults feel obliged to take on bad habits like substance
abuse to feel like they are part of the circle and not levelled as boring or weak. For example
, if a group of friends get involved in substance
abuse, underage drinking, and delinquenet
activities, a child may feel obligated to Correct your spelling
delinquent
confrom
to these Correct your spelling
conform
confirm
behaviours
to avoid exclusion.
To conclude
, there is no concrete evidence to endorse the view that peer
pressure
is the primary reason for unacceptable behaviours
and substance
abuse. I believe that peer
pressure
can encourage young people to conform
a positive attitude towards learning.Verb problem
adopt
Submitted by sejal.h on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a balanced view, more specific examples and evidence would strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that the explanation of ideas is clear and comprehensive, avoiding repetition and maintaining focus on the main point.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentences for minor grammatical errors and maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay successfully outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure.
coherence cohesion
Clear introductory and concluding paragraphs contribute to a structured response.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported, showcasing a thoughtful engagement with the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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