Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that unpaid
community
service provide
students with many valuable skills ( communication, planning,...). Change the verb form
provides
This
is why it have
been suggested that it should Change the verb form
has
be become
a compulsory part of high school Change to the active voice
become
have become
program
. Most Fix the agreement mistake
programs
of
Change preposition
apply
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
are providing
opportunities to gain Wrong verb form
provide
work
experience but it is spontaneous activities. From my perspectives
, giving students to participate or Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
work
community
service can provide them with a lot of benefits which will be discussed in Change preposition
in community
following
paragraph.
To commence with, as a Change the article
the following
consequences
of receiving compulsory Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
work
opportunities helpful or community
organizations, students will be inspired to think more creatively. Taking part in compulsory work
activities will help them develop skills including responsibility, tolerance, and empathy which not only enhanced
their employability at a later stage of life but will Wrong verb form
enhance
also
look good on their job applications. Additionally
, by learning that earning and spending money is not as easy, they will gain a greater appreciation for work
and money so that they can spend them in more practical ways. Furthermore
, they have to know what their parents and adults work
hars
they can help them with the housework.
Correct your spelling
so
Conversely
, the provision of community- beneficial
services can make cities a better place to live and improve the lives of everyone. Correct your spelling
community-beneficial
In addition
, people helping the elderly and keeping public gardens clean can make cities a better place to live for everyone. Moreover
, instead
of boring and doing nothing in their house, any kind of charity word will control student's
healthy balance and exercise, and make Fix the agreement mistake
students'
they
more Correct pronoun usage
them
self- motivated
.
In conclusion, putting unpaid Correct your spelling
self-motivated
community
service in high school programs is an interesting ideal
. With the positive effect Correct your spelling
idea
of
Change preposition
apply
its
on the public and the pursuit of educational Correct pronoun usage
apply
goals
I think it's deserving ofAdd a comma
goals,
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
compulsory
program.Correct article usage
a compulsory
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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Your essay presents a complete response to the task, but ensure all points are thoroughly explored and supported with concrete, specific examples for higher scores. This can improve relevance and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices can help make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Highlighting both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner and linking them back to the main argument could make your essay stronger.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage and outlines the key points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoints and reinforces the argument, which is effective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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