Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Some
people
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opine that developed
countries
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should not import proficient
workers
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from underdeveloped or developing
countries
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because the poor nations will have a scarcity of skilled employees. I, personally disagree with the given statement as migration leads to
contribute
Replace the word
contribution
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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economic
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the economic
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sector
as well as
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job
Correct article usage
the job
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sector. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss my opinion about
this
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issue.
To begin
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with, nowadays, a lot of skilled
workers
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are moving towards affluent
countries
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due to
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having a luxurious life and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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their earnings. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it helps
people
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rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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their standard of living. As migrated
workers
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provide money to their families, it helps to contribute to their
countrys'
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country's
show examples
economy.
For example
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: in 2023,Bangladesh
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
earned 30% more than
2022
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in 2022
show examples
from
Correct article usage
the remittence
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remittence
Correct your spelling
remittance
sector
due to
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a
Change the article
an
show examples
escalating number of
migration
Replace the word
migrants
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
people
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of non-solvent
countries
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are working hard to increase their skills which results in
development
Add an article
the development
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of
education
Correct article usage
an education
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system. At present, citizens are concerned about gaining knowledge of particular sectors
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in where
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where
Correct word choice
which
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they are interested
in
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apply
show examples
.
As a result
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, governments are
also
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taking initiatives to improve their education level so that
people
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can compete
in
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apply
show examples
abroad. To illustrate, in 2024,
government
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the government
show examples
of Bangladesh has given free training facilities
for encouraging
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to encourage
show examples
the young generation to level up their skills.
In addition
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,
Education
Correct article usage
the Education
show examples
Board has added practical
assignment
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assignments
show examples
so that students can improve their knowledge.
Furthermore
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, I strongly believe that developed
countries
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can
also
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be benefitted
Wrong verb form
benefit
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from
this
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. They can get skilled
workers
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at lower prices.
Apart from
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this
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, when a skilled person
go
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goes
show examples
to
sovent
Correct your spelling
some
countries
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, he
also
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tries hard to contribute to the economy of that country. Rich nations can get
advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
show examples
from their creativities and innovations.
To sum up
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, rich
countries
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should take more employees so that both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
can get benefits from
this
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.
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task achievement
To improve further, work on ensuring your main points are more comprehensively developed and supported with thorough arguments and additional detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to some small grammar and sentence structure errors. They don't majorly affect understanding, but refining them will make your writing more polished.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position, setting the stage for your arguments.
examples
You have included relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as discussing Bangladesh's remittance sector.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points of argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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