Rich countries should not employ skilled labour from poor countries, as poor countries need the worker more. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Some
people
opine that developed countries
should not import proficient workers
from underdeveloped or developing countries
because the poor nations will have a scarcity of skilled employees. I, personally disagree with the given statement as migration leads to contribute
Replace the word
contribution
in
Change preposition
to
economic
sector Add an article
the economic
as well as
job
sector. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss my opinion about Correct article usage
the job
this
issue.
To begin
with, nowadays, a lot of skilled workers
are moving towards affluent countries
due to
having a luxurious life and increase
their earnings. I believeWrong verb form
increasing
,
it helps Remove the comma
apply
people
rise
their standard of living. As migrated Correct your spelling
raise
workers
provide money to their families, it helps to contribute to their countrys'
economy.Change noun form
country's
For example
: in 2023,Bangladesh has
earned 30% more than Unnecessary verb
apply
2022
from Change preposition
in 2022
Correct article usage
the remittence
remittence
sector Correct your spelling
remittance
due to
a
escalating number of Change the article
an
migration
.
Replace the word
migrants
Moreover
, people
of non-solvent countries
are working hard to increase their skills which results in development
of Add an article
the development
education
system. At present, citizens are concerned about gaining knowledge of particular sectors Correct article usage
an education
Change preposition
in where
where
they are interestedCorrect word choice
which
in
. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, governments are also
taking initiatives to improve their education level so that people
can compete in
abroad. To illustrate, in 2024, Change preposition
apply
government
of Bangladesh has given free training facilities Add an article
the government
for encouraging
the young generation to level up their skills. Change preposition
to encourage
In addition
, Education
Board has added practical Correct article usage
the Education
assignment
so that students can improve their knowledge.
Fix the agreement mistake
assignments
Furthermore
, I strongly believe that developed countries
can also
be benefitted
from Wrong verb form
benefit
this
. They can get skilled workers
at lower prices. Apart from
this
, when a skilled person go
to Change the verb form
goes
sovent
Correct your spelling
some
countries
, he also
tries hard to contribute to the economy of that country. Rich nations can get advantage
from their creativities and innovations.
Correct article usage
an advantage
To sum up
, rich countries
should take more employees so that both the
Correct article usage
apply
nation
can get benefits from Fix the agreement mistake
nations
this
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task achievement
To improve further, work on ensuring your main points are more comprehensively developed and supported with thorough arguments and additional detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to some small grammar and sentence structure errors. They don't majorly affect understanding, but refining them will make your writing more polished.
introduction
The introduction clearly states your position, setting the stage for your arguments.
examples
You have included relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as discussing Bangladesh's remittance sector.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points of argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example