IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some holiday photos Write a letter to your friend . In this letter: •thank them for the holiday and the photos •explain why you didn't write earlier •invite them to come and stay with you

#month #holiday #friends #photos #friend #•thank #•explain #•invite
Dear Jacob My dear friend many thanks for the
time
 that you are
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 with me a holiday ,I have got the photos , the photos that you
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 me
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 fantastic The place that we visited was wonderful , you know, and I am glad that I had been good
time
 with both of you, I will never forget the
time
 that spent together Excuse me , I didn't write to you thank you for the photos , thought I got home
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
time
 ago , I had a problem with my health but now I feel better
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 yesterday .
Correct your spelling
Don't
Dont
Correct your spelling
Don't
 worry about me I would like to invite both of you to my lovely city. My city is wonderful with many sights, there are
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of shops , restaurants and bars to have a good
time
 and rest with my dear friend and I am sure that we will enjoy
time
 here ,I would love to see you soon . Take care and write back Warm wishes Ocync
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. For instance, organizing and expanding on your reasons for not writing earlier could help.
task achievement
To achieve a higher task response score, add more details to your invitation, such as mentioning specific sights or activities in your city.
greeting and closing
Your greeting is warm and friendly, which effectively sets the tone of the letter.
complete response
You have successfully covered all the required points: thanking for the photos, explaining the delay, and inviting your friend.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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