IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table illustrates how workers were employed in six industries in Australia from 1989 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, more people worked in healthcare, construction, education and tourism throughout the period
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for retail and manufacturing.
Additionally
Linking Words
, tourism had the fewest employees working over the ten-year period. In
further
Linking Words
 detail, 9.6% of the workforce
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 employed in healthcare in 1989, before rising considerably to 11.3% in 2009, making it the most popular industry at that time. The percentages of workers in construction and education saw a gradual increase, ranging from 6.8% and 7.6% to 7.5% and 8.3% ten years later. Tourism, despite being the least favourable industry, had its proportion grow noticeably by around 2% Moving onto other categories,
although
Linking Words
 manufacturing was the most popular industry with 15% of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
 employed in 1989, the figure dropped significantly to 9.8% in 2009. Experiencing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar trend but to a smaller extent, the proportion of employees in retail recorded at 11.8% to 10.1% after ten years,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: