IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevent subjects should not receive the government funding Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantage

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In the world of global
problems
Add a comma
problems,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the world of global problems. Consider adding a comma.

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 we have a lot of useful and not majors.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, more and more people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb argued. Consider changing it.

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 that
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 must pay the cost of university for the ones who study relevant subjects,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 for others, who choose more pointless classes, they should not make scholarships and grants. But
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 studying system has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 own advantages and
diasadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages

If you don’t want diasadvantages to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. On the one hand, juveniles will pay more attention
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 important and significant studies like science and economy.
Because in
Correct word choice
In

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 the future humanity will have huge problems with
environment
Correct article usage
the environment

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, water and food deficiency,
shortage
Correct word choice
and shortage

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 of mineral resources and will be searching
professionals
Change preposition
for professionals

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 their fields.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Singapore universities mostly receive the government
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding

It seems that fundings may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 for IT students and there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject a major growth. Consider changing the verb form.

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 a major growth of specialists in hi-tech technologies.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, rarely do students in Japan choose soft skill classes after developing
nanotechnology
Correct article usage
the nanotechnology

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 sphere and making grants and scholarships in that.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, adolescents must choose
major
Correct article usage
a major

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 and have their right to study in their wanted field, owing to the fact that we live in
modern
Correct article usage
a modern

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 society and
it
Correct pronoun usage
there

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 will be always new classes and
deficit
Correct article usage
a deficit

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 of professionals in every specialization.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after
disintegration
Add an article
the disintegration

The noun phrase disintegration seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 of the USSR,
large
Add an article
a large

The noun phrase large quantity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 quantity of people studied
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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law and economy, because it was demanding subjects. But at the right
time
Add a comma
time,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase at the right time. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change the determiner
these

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun countries. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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 countries
try
Wrong verb form
are trying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb try. Consider changing it.

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 to reduce
number
Change the article
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 of students in that field. In conclusion, it is the culture of
toleration
Replace the word
tolerance

The word toleration doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 in the world of globalization,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is more favoured to give teenagers
choice
Correct article usage
the choice

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 to study
majors
Correct article usage
the majors

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 which they want.

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logical structure
To improve your logical structure, try organizing each paragraph around a clear, single idea. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main point and transitions to ensure a smooth flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines your main arguments and your conclusion summarizes them effectively. This will help you achieve higher marks for having an introduction and conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Provide more specific examples and further develop your ideas to make your main points more convincing. This will help make your essay more comprehensive and clear.
complete response
Be sure to address all parts of the prompt. Ensure you discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally and in detail to achieve a more complete response.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic at hand and presents a clear stance, showing an understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion.
task achievement
You use some relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
task achievement
Your attempt to address both sides of the argument shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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