The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?
Despite the modern era and the tendency to
state-of-art
cities, there are some traditional regions which vary from new ones. Correct your spelling
state-of-the-art
This varieties
could cause numerous challenges for contemporary citizens and infrastructures. Change the determiner
This variety
These varieties
This
essay will assess the
problems Change the word
their
of
Change preposition
apply
them
and propose some solutions to tackle problems.
The statistics Correct pronoun usage
apply
represent
that there have been some ancient locals in the new residential areas which could lead to some issues, Verb problem
show
due to
their different design
. Unadopted constructions with piping and transportation would be the first challenge. One of the most Fix the agreement mistake
designs
requirements
of modern citizens is easy Correct word choice
important requirements
access
to Add the particle
to access
Correct article usage
apply
the
water, gas, and electricity which would Correct article usage
apply
be
tough Verb problem
make it
to adapt
traditional locals with these facilities. The second challenge would refer to Verb problem
for
lack
of adaption Correct article usage
the lack
with
vehicles. Change preposition
to
According to
past unconventional equipment and also
civil plans, transferring through the ancient narrow paths, which were made of soil, would be unfeasible.
The first solution comes
to mind would be eradicating them and constructing new ones; it entails, Correct pronoun usage
that comes
however
, huge capital, so renovation would be the best idea. Considering locals’ preferences to live in state-of-art regions, constructing modern regions and transferring citizens to new area
would provide welfare Fix the agreement mistake
areas
along with
preserving the traditional architecture. For example
, the mayor of Delhi, India, built some skyscrapers and apartments with transportation systems, which is
concretely next to the traditional region, and transformed the old area into Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
museum and Correct article usage
a
also
filming
location.
In conclusion, there Correct article usage
a filming
would be
a history behind traditional areas and Wrong verb form
is
also
, they are historically priceless, so destroying could
damage the heritage of the city. Correct pronoun usage
them could
Therefore
, through authorities’ performances, the locals could gain modern local which accompany
by improving finance.Wrong verb form
accompanied
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and offers a logical structure. However, some ideas could be expanded further. For instance, you might elaborate more on how exactly traditional infrastructure challenges modern requirements.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear, but there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be improved. For instance, 'this varieties' should be 'these varieties,' and 'unadopted constructions' could be 'buildings with outdated infrastructure'.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the issues and sets the stage for the essay well.
logical structure
The transition between identifying the problems and proposing solutions is smooth and logical.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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